How To Catch Bishounen
by Kyrissean
Summary: Will Albert be captured or will the master strategist elude Her once again?
1. Plan 1: Setting the Trap

_Disclaimer: Ok. Obviously I don't own Suikoden in any way, shape or form. If I did, I would berate Albie for trying to take over the world (silly Albie) and then kidnap him to do with as I please...But that's kind of the premise of my story so I won't go into that any further. Also, contrary to popular opinion, I am only mildly obsessive over the games. Just don't ask me how many times I've played each game. :looks down and coughs uncomfortably._

_By the way, the main character of the story will be referred to as She or Her. This is because I wanted to make the story very general. You know, like anyone could do this...If you don't like it you can flame me. However, I have been known to dance naked in flames. Consider yourselves warned. Oh yeah. This is my first fanfic so constructive advice would be much appreciated.  
_

_ It all started with an innocent thought while playing Suikoden III with Sparrow Nightrunner ."Wouldn't it be funny if I caught Albert in a trap?" Kyrissean thought out loud.__ Sparrow Nightrunner snorted."How would you catch Albert in a trap?" __At moment of thought followed. It would be tricky to design and bait a trap for Albert. This would require careful planning and many practice rounds. Well, why not? There were plenty of bishounen in S3 to "practice" on. :evil grin:_

* * *

_**Chapter 1: Setting the Trap** _

She anxiously looked at her checklist as She prepared to catch her first bishounen.

Step 1) Design trap. Check. A semi-sturdy seven cubic foot wooden cage with three barred walls, triggered to drop at the push of a button on a hand held controller, was ready to hold the first lucky bishounen who was unlucky enough to step under it. It would suffice for a first trap. Step 2) Get permission from castle master to use spot in castle for trap. Check. Note: Permission was granted by castle master Thomas to temporarily rent a few square feet inside the castle for placement of bishounen trap on the condition that the area was out of the way of any NPCs. Any space could be used at any time as long as this condition was met. Step 3) Identify potential bishounen for the first trap. Well, She already made a list of all potential bishounen. So the only decision left was who to start with. She started Her search in the basement of Budehuc castle.

"Oh! And who might you be?" an annoyingly squeaky voice called out at Her.

"You tell me. You're the detective." She returned to the weird kid with the red mask.

"How did you know that? Ahh, my reputation precedes me I guess. You must have heard about my escapade in…"

She ignored him as She went up to the warehouse level of the basement and looked in both directions. She sighed. "The ship is as good of a place as any to start," She mumbled. She stopped at the entranceway to the old graveyard and stared up at the huge beast in front of Her: Bazba, the bishounen lizard. "Maybe the lizards should be excluded," She decided anxiously and crossed a name off her list. It would probably be a good idea to start with a simple minded bishounen for Her first trap. Certainly one of the bishounen in the castle would be foolish enough to step under the…She grunted as She was suddenly pushed aside by a knight in black armor scurrying out of the ship.

"Sorry," he said, stopping and facing Her. "Just got a tip on the location of evil. Musn't delay. The world MUST be saved from all evil!"

"And you're the one to do it," She stated.

"Of course. Can you think of anyone better suited to vanquish evil from the face of the world?"

"How do you know I'm not evil?" She struggled to keep a straight face.

"What do you mean? DoyouknowanythingabouttheevilI'mafter? Ifyoudoyoushouldtell me. I AM specifically trained to fight evil you know," he declared, puffing out his chest.

She assumed a sorrowful expression. "No. I'm sorry. I don't know anything about the evil YOU'RE after,"

"Oh," the knight deflated. "Well, if you do find anything out about it you will tell me, right?"

"Of course I will." She smiled malevolently at the knight's back as he rushed away. Ah…Fred. Perfect.

That night She set up the trap near her favorite painting, the one of the sunset. It was in a prime trapping location between the steps and the conference room. The trap was safely positioned above the spot of her choice and ready to go. Now all She had to do was prepare the bait. She got out a sheet of paper and wrote EVIL on it with black pen and drew an arrow pointing down. "This seems too easy," She mumbled, taping the sign to the wall. She turned a couple spotlights onto it so it would be plainly visible in the dark castle. Now for the bishounen. She walked down to the ship and sure enough Master Fred was back in his usual spot on the wrecked ship talking with Rico.

"Isn't it kind of late for your squire to be up?"

Fred gave Her a clueless expression.

"Never mind. Hey, I got a tip on that evil you're looking for."

"YOU DO! Well tell me. This evil must be vanquished as soon as possible."

"Well, it seems that there's some sort of clue as to the whereabouts of Evil upstairs in the castle. You know…near that painting of the sunset."

"Oh yes. Of course I know." Fred rushed off, Rico hot on his heels. She jogged behind them, Her anticipation growing with every step. As they got up the stairs Fred looked around wildly. Then he saw the EVIL sign on the wall and rushed towards it.

"Master Fred. Something looks suspicious about that s-"

_Beep. Swoosh. Clash._

"W.what's going on!" Fred uneasily shifted his eyes left and right.

"Sir Fred!" Rico called out, just beyond the trap. She grabbed the bars and started tugging.

"It actually worked!" She trotting to the trap gleefully.

"What is the meaning of this?" Fred shouted indignantly, putting his hands on his hips.

"Shhh," She whispered, putting her finger to her mouth. "You might scare the evil away. She glanced around feigning paranoia. Or worse…the other bishounen."

"What…?" Fred was now extremely confused, as opposed to his usual state of mild confusion.

"Don't worry. Everything will be fine," She assured Rico.

"What's that in your hand?" Rico asked, warily.

"Oh this?" This is just a little devise to make sure that my bishounen don't run away from me." In Her hand was a long stick with a loop at the end, which tightened as it was pulled on. She slowly unlocked and cracked open the door of the trap, just wide enough so that the loop and stick would fit through. Fred cringed towards the back of the cage as the loop came closer to him. She carefully slipped the loop over Fred's head.

"Hey!" Fred clutched the loop and lunged away from Her. "Gah," he choked.

"No, no! Don't do that! Just come along peacefully and nobody will get hurt."

Rico started crying. "Please, Master Fred!"

Fred struggled for a while before his impended breathing caused by the loop around his neck resulted in fainting.

She sighed and looked down at the crying Rico. "Well, that went well." Her sarcasm was plainly evident. She took the loop off Fred, grabbed his arms and dragged him to Viki.

"Hey Viki?" Viki blinked drowsily. "Could you teleport us to these coordinates?"

Viki looked at the sheet of paper and nodded sleepily. "Sure. No problem."

She sighed and leaned Fred on her shoulders the best She could. Not bad for a practice round. She had caught her first live bishounen. She smiled with accomplishment.

"Okay…ready?"

She nodded.

"Here goes."

Rico watched in horror as She and Fred blinked out of sight and the teleportress blinked in confusion.

"Oops."

* * *

_Well, there she is._ _Please review. I have a couple of other chapters written, but if you guys don't like the story I keep them solely for my own reading pleasure. More ideas will be considered for use in further chapters._  
_Special thanks go out to Psycholeopard and Sparrow Nightrunner for their inspiration and editing skills._


	2. Plan 2: A Different Tactic

_Chapter 2_: A _Different Tactic_

_Disclaimer: I still don't own Suikoden or its characters. :sigh:_

"Fred. Rico and I are coming in!" She yelled through the cast iron door.

"Rico?" Fred called hopefully.

"Master Fred!" The attendant ran over and hugged Fred.

"Uhhh," Fred said awkwardly and patted her on the head a couple of times and looked at Her questioningly.

"I couldn't very well leave her crying in the castle. I am rather fond of her." She smiled at Rico. "Anyway, she's agreed to help me keep house as long as she can be near you. She is remarkably devoted to you. Go figure. In light of this, I have decided to move you to different quarters with adjacent bedrooms. Come on."

Fred cautiously followed Rico and Her out the door into the hallway. "Nice digs."

She smiled. "Thank you. I got the idea while touring a stud farm overseas."

"Stud farm?"

"Uhhh…yeah…you know…a breeding farm for horses…Their stallion quarters were magnificent. I thought they were groom's quarters at first. They were like miniature houses all attached to one another with flower beds decorating the outside. They even had windows and beautiful Gaelic music playing for them."

"I don't hear any music," pouted Fred.

She stopped dead in her tracks, causing Fred to run into Her. "You WANT me to play some Gaelic music for you?"

"Well, it would be nice." Fred turned away nonchalantly. "Unless I'm not good enough for Gaelic music."

She sighed. "I'll see what I can do."

_Later that day_

"I can't believe I'm helping you with this!" Fred shouted as he followed behind Her.

"Percival is too clever and observant…and what is his weakness…bah, too much work."

Said knight looked at Her quizzically as She stood in the open door to the room looking at him thoughtfully. She next turned her gaze to Borus, briskly shook her head and moved away. She glanced towards Nash, propped up against the wall outside the door to the Flame Champion's room. "Later…" She mumbled and walked towards the stairs.

"Hey girl! I don't think I've met you before," a rough voice called out.

She turned towards the old mercenary fighting mage standing next to the comment box and smiled in amusement, never breaking stride.

"Some would consider you lucky," She glanced at Fred. "Or they're going to…" She muttered while studying the notepad. "Hmmm…no. Too reclusive." Fred, Rico and She were now walking around the castle grounds.

"Hey! Don't you think you should look where you're going?" Fred asked.

She stopped and looked at him, raising an eyebrow. "Who caught who in a trap?"

Fred looked at his feet. "You caught me," he mumbled submissively.

"That's right…Let's continue, shall we?"

"Oh, hi Barts!" Rico greeted the bishounen gardener.

She shook Her head. "Greeting the obsessed-over-his-tomatoes gardener. Wait…greeting the OVERLY obsessed-over-his-tomatoes gardener." She grinned diabolically. Victim number two…Barts.

The trouble with Barts was that he never seemed to leave his garden. No matter. She knew what to do. She reset her trap near the painting and found six juicy tomatoes to put under the trap. She then went over to Barts, who was standing in front of his garden looking bored.

"Barts. There are six juicy tomatoes inside the castle."

"Ah yes…tomatoes…so red and green and ever so juicy. Their flavor seems to…"

"Barts." She assumed a grave expression. "These tomatoes are in danger." Barts gasped, horrified. "If you don't go save them, they're going to get squished."

"No! Who would do such a horrible deed?" he screamed as he ran inside the castle. She raced after Barts, but he had too much of a head start on Her. As She got inside the castle he was already diving to save the tomatoes.

_Beep. Swoosh._ "EEEP!" The trap landed on Bart's foot as he attempted to leap under it, grabbing the tomatoes as he rolled out. Only, his foot didn't quite make it out and the trap landed directly on it, effectively ensaring him. Or so She thought.

"No! Don't come any closer! Stay away the tomatoes!" Barts threatened, struggling to release his foot.

She slowly walked towards him, gesturing placatingly with Her hands. "Barts. Just calm down. I'm not going to hurt the tomatoes. Oh…But it looks like one didn't survive." She pointed to the red splotch on the front of Barts' shirt.

"Noooooo!" Barts sobbed and suddenly yanked his foot out of the trap and sprinted for the door, limping.

She froze blinking in shock and confusion.

"Well, that didn't work so well…" Fred sounded smug.

"Okay. Who caught who in a trap?" She snapped.

Fred hunched his shoulders and stared at her defensively.

"Anyway, if at first you don't succeed…"

In a couple of minutes She had a different tactic in mind. She started setting up the trap right in from of him.

Even Fred was skeptical of this plan. "Oh c'mon. You think he's going to just walk into your trap and let you close the door behind him."

She smiled wickedly. "Just wait and see. While Barts was running to save the tomatoes in the hall I snatched some of his grapes and hid them in my coat."

She stepped into the trap and took out the grapes. Barts eyes widened and he immediately leapt at Her. "Give me those grapes!"

"Percival, NOW!"

_Swoosh. Click._

"I don't believe it." Fred muttered in a monotone.

Barts was inside the now locked trap, holding the grapes and rocking back and forth.

"I thought he was your friend," Fred exclaimed.

"Oh, he is," Percival smirked, crossing his arms. "This is just a little payback for all his good timing in the past."

"Come on Barts," She said. "I have a very fertile piece of land all ready for you back at the ranch."

Fred looked at Her aghast. "The what?"

"If you have a better name for it, I'd like to hear it."

Fred shook his head and sighed.

She dragged Barts (and the grapes) out of the trap and into the main hall of the castle, Percival following behind, an amused grin fixed on his face.

"Now Viki. Pleeassee try to concentrate this time. Last time we landed in the moat."

"There's a moat?" Percival exclaimed breathing a laugh.

"No problem." Viki replied.

_Blink._

"Oops."


	3. Plan 3: A Different Trap

_Okay, so apparently my title succeeded in catching some attentions. But you guys aren't reviewing. I'm kinda bummed by that. Even if you don't like it I would like to know. Thanks go to animesage for reviewing both chapters. You get all the cookies you want from PsychoLeopard. Sorry, this chapter isn't Futch, but I already had it written. I promise I will work on a Futch chapter though. _

_Disclaimer: Suikoden is not mine. The characters in it are not mine. They belong to Konami._

_

* * *

_

_Chapter 3 A Different Trap_

"Who are you catching this time?" An excited Percival bounded down the steps to Her as She entered the castle.

"You weren't…waiting for me to come back…were you?" She looked amused.

"Well…no…I mean…It's just that this place is a little…well...boring. Chris keeps taking other castle residents out to train and I'm getting tired of staying in the same room with Borus all day and all night."

"You mean…you get…sick…of staring at Borus all…" she trailed off at Percival's warning expression. She glanced at Fred and Rico, who were staring at Her. "Well, I guess that can be excused. I just thought…Okay. I'm done now." She snapped her mouth shut. An awkward silence ensued.

"You know, if you're thinking about catching Borus, I could be a big help," Percival offered.

"Hmmm…" She smirked connivingly for the barest instant before assuming an expression of indifference. "Well…I don't really want to catch Borus right now."

"But…it would be so much fun!" Percy begged.

"Well...I already have a bishounen to help me." She glanced at Fred, who puffed out his chest with pride.

"Fred!" Percival laughed, then quickly covered his mouth.

"What's the matter with Fred?" She looked amused.

Percival raised his eyebrows. "He's not exactly the brightest bulb on the street, if you take my meaning."

"Hey! Don't insult Master Fred!" Rico looked about ready to attack the Swordsman of Gale.

"Well, maybe I could be convinced." She looked away, doubtfully.

"Come on!" he begged. "I already have an idea. It would be a shame to waste it..."

She grinned, beckoned Percival over with a finger and started whispering with him.

"Hey! Don't leave me out of this!" Fred shouted indignantly, trying to break into the huddle.

_Two hours later…_

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" a female voice asked. "You're not actually going to hurt Borus, right?"

"Of course not Lady Chris. You have my word," Percival said charmingly, as he helped tie her to the chair. "Trust me. Borus is going to come right out of his state of sullen depression as soon as he sees you here."

"Well, the last thing I want is for one of my knights to be depressed…"

"Now, now Lady Chris. Everything will be fine. Trust me." She patted Chris consolingly on the hand. "Even Borus needs a little vacation-time now and then. There. All ready."

Chris sighed. "I'M not going to get hurt am I?"

"Of course not." She smiled winningly.

"The last time I received such assurance while I was being tied to a chair, an apple got tied to my head and my own bowman almost shot me."

"Ahhh. You're missing the key word there…almost," She pointed out with a smile.

Chris sighed and slumped in the chair.

She nodded at Percival.

"I'll be back," said a grinning Percival as he bounded up the stairs.

"Like a kid in a candy store," She snorted, shaking her head. She stood in silence for a moment, waiting for the volcano called Borus to erupt. She was not disappointed.

"WWWHATTT?"

Her eyes glinted in amusement as the Swordsman of Rage, living up to his nickname, came rushing down the stairs. His sword was unsheathed, and a grinning Percival followed right behind him.

"Lady Chris!" He sheathed his sword. "I'll get you out of this! Just hold tight!" His hands were shaking as he put them on the arms of the chair and looked into her eyes.

Chris looked at him in confusion.

Just then, a coil came out of each of the chair's arms and wrapped around Borus' wrists.

"What!" Borus leapt back in confusion.

"Don't!" Chris yelled as the chair shuddered.

Borus froze in place.

"How did you do that?" Fred gaped at Her.

She smiled. "It was easy."

Percival glared.

"Ahem. A material called "elastic" was coiled into neat little bundles with one end attached to the inside of the arm of the chair on each side. Percival designed them so that when someone touched the trigger next to the bundles the elastic would snap and uncoil around the arms, attaching to the other side."

"If he pulled hard enough he could get free." Percival smirked.

Borus whimpered.

"But Lady Chris suggested that he not move so he won't budge for anything now." Percival looked at Boris smugly.

Fred persisted. "But what if he just decided to cut her loose right away?"

Percival raised his eyebrows at the Maximillian Knight and gave a snort. "That just would not be Sir Borus' style."

"Okay…I've kept to my end of the bargain so now you have to keep to yours."

Fred looked at Her in confusion.

She smiled. "Not you. Percival. In return for me allowing him to aid and watch the capture of Borus, he agreed to come to my ranch." Fred's eyes widened as he turned to Percival.

"Have you completely lost your mind?"

"Viki, me and the boys please."

Viki nodded. "No problem."

"Wait!"

_Blink._ "Oops. Not again."

"Hey. Who's going to untie me?"

* * *

_Okay, so the mechanisms of this trap are a little fuzzy. I was just trying to think like a game designer and succeeded to well (Thank for the suggestion PsychoLeopard). I am not an expert trap designer but if you fine people who are still reading this story could make suggestions in your reviews on how to change the trap, it would be much appreciated._


	4. Plan 4: The Dragon and His Knight

_Sorry for taking so long to update. I was on vacation for a week and now school has started and...well you know how it goes. Anyway, here is my chapter on the dragon knight as promised. Suggestions and requests are welcome.  
_

_  
Disclaimer: I do not own Suikoden in any way shape or form. If I did, the tactics game would be based on Suikoden III.  
_

_

* * *

_

_The Dragon and His Knight_

The sun had just begun to rise at Budehuc castle when a strange entourage teleported to the grounds. She checked to make sure everyone had arrived in one piece and then put the blinking mirror into the brown travel pack on Her back.

"May I ask how you got that blinking mirror?" Percival whispered, raising an eyebrow, as he, Fred and She walked down to the basement of the castle.

She blinked innocently. "You can ask."

Percival waited.

She smiled at him sweetly.

He sighed. "Please tell me you did NOT steal it from the Flame Champion."

She stopped at the first floor of the basement and looked at Percy, still smiling. "I can say for an absolute fact that I did not steal _this_ blinking mirror from the Flame Champion."

Percival fingered his chin, eyeing Her suspiciously. It was not like Her to be blatantly honest. "What _did_ you steal from the Flame Champion?"

She started walking again and grinned mischievously. "His blinking mirror." She shrugged, the cocked her head to one side thoughtfully. "Well…I wouldn't exactly call it _stealing_. It's more like I _borrowed_ it from him."

Fred looked at Her, furrowing his brows in confusion. "But I thought you just said that wasn't his mirror."

"It isn't," She stated matter-of-factly.

Percival closed his eyes and sighed, summoning patience.

Her mouth quirked in a half smile of amusement.

Percival shook his head at Her antics but couldn't help returning the smile. "Please explain."

She smiled at the calm tone of his voice. One of the many qualities She liked about Percival was that he rarely appeared frazzled over anything. "I _borrowed _the Flame Champion's blinking mirror as a model for this one." She signaled towards the pack on Her back.

"I see." Percival raised an eyebrow, another quality She found quite endearing.

Fred looked at Her with questioning eyes. "So, you gave the original back to the Flame Champion?"

She sighed and rubbed her temple. "Yes Fred. That would be what borrowing is all about."

Fred gave Her a blank stare. "Why are you rubbing your head? Do you have a headache?"

She sighed and looked towards Percival with expressionless eyes. "Why do I bring him along again?"

Percival smirked. "Because you need two helpers for this job and as of now, the alternative is far worse."

She rolled Her eyes and looked pointedly at the knight. "I'm _still_ not sure putting a shock collar on Borus was a good idea…"

Percival looked at Her in feigned shock. "What do you mean? It was a fantastic idea! It stopped him from trying to escape, didn't it?"

She looked at Percival doubtfully. "Well…yes, but that was because it knocked him unconscious."

"Hmmm…" Percival fingered his chin thoughtfully. "Perhaps the voltage was set a bit too high…You'll have to remember to set it lower when we get back"

"You're the one who set the voltage in the first place!" She yelled.

"Shhh," Percival put a finger to his lips. "You'll wake everyone up and ruin your plan."

She ignored Percival's warning and continued. "One minute he was flying across the yard and the next he was flat on his back and not breathing. I told you it would be too much for him." She folded Her arms and stared accusingly at the knight.

Percival smiled at her in amusement. "You got to give him CPR, didn't you?"

She shifted Her eyes uncomfortably. "Well, yes…but…that's not the point."

Percival smirked and shrugged. "I really don't see what the problem is here."

She rolled Her eyes and gave the Swordsman of Gale an impish look. "Of course you don't...Percy."

"Please don't call me that." he returned with a grimace. "Anyway, back to the mirror…"

She sighed again. "Not that again. I thought we were all past that."

He gave Her a half grin. "I know for a fact that that particular mirror is enchanted. How were you able to replicate that?"

"I have my sources." She smiled smugly.

Percival raised an eyebrow.

"Pardon my asking," Fred interrupted, wanting to end the 'complicated' discussion. "But you haven't exactly told us how we are going to catch this dragon knight."

"Ahhh yes." She nodded Her head. "That's right. We're here to catch Futch, aren't we?" She bit Her lip in thought.

Both knights stopped and stared at Her in disbelief.

"Well, I guess we could just keep circling around the castle all day." Percival rolled his eyes with sarcasm.

She grinned. "Okay, okay. Here's the plan." The knights focused there eyes on Her. "The most difficult thing about Futch is going to be his dragon."

The knights grimaced.

Percival shut his eyes in thought. "Him and Bright practically destroyed the water dragon on their own. He looked at Her doubtfully. "You _actually_ have a plan to get past the dragon?"

She smirked slyly. "We're not going to get past him." She noted Percival's look of piqued interest. "I think our best strategy would be to gain the dragon as our ally and then use him to catch Futch."

Fred's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he tried to contemplate that task.

Percival looked at Her sardonically. "You really think you can make good enough friends with Bright so that he _allows_ you to take Futch?"

"Well…That's why we have my animals here." She looked to the bird on her left shoulder and then to the gecko on her right. "When Bright realizes what good care I take of them and how they trust me he's sure to go along with my suggestion."

Percival glanced at the gecko entrusted to him on his shoulder. "Suggestion?" Percival gave Her a wry grin at the wording. "It's more like you're going to try to con the dragon into helping you catch Futch."

She shrugged nonchalantly. "Hey. Whatever works."

"Hey," Fred interrupted again. The two other members of the entourage turned to him. "Why's my gecko on a leash?"

"She's actually MY gecko," She corrected Fred tersely. "and it's because she's temporarily in your care." She sighed and rolled Her eyes. "Isn't that reason enough?"

He looked at Her cluelessly.

She shook her head. "Never mind. Let's just get going okay? Everyone's going to wake up soon."

The entourage carefully made their way up to the main deck of the ship and over to where Futch and Bright took up residence. They tiptoed over to the still sleeping pair and stopped.

"Now what?" Percival whispered.

She tapped the white dragon on the nose, earning a sleepy-eyed snort from the creature.

"Shhh." She put a finger to Her lips.

The dragon's eyes opened wide in surprise.

"Hi Bright," She whispered cheerfully, waving a greeting.

The dragon looked at Her quizzically before noticing the shapes on Her and Her companions' shoulders.

"These are my friends," She explained to Bright. "On my left shoulder is my parrot Cosmo, who, I can assure you, is at least as obnoxious as Waurenhyte. Then I've got my geckos. The big gecko on my right shoulder is Zelda. That one on Percival's shoulder is Zoe and the albino gecko with the leash that Fred is..." She glanced at Fred. "Currently trying to dislodge from his face...?" She paused briefly to give Fred a bewildered look before returning to Her speech. "…is Xena…All females, of course, except perhaps the bird. I think he is a male."

Bright snorted in surprise and put his nose up to the bird.

"How are you doing?" the bird asked. "Wanna come out?"

The dragon jerked his head back and regarded the bird cautiously.

She cast a worried glance at Futch but he was still snoring, oblivious to the bird's rather loud questions. She sighed in relief.

"Cosmo just mimics," She explained to Bright. "Anyway, we're visiting because we have a favor to ask of you."

Bright considered for a moment and She felt Herself tense anxiously. Finally, She felt the dragon's nod signaling for Her to continue.

"You see," She started reluctantly. "I'm collecting bishounen for my _training facility_…"

Percival snorted.

She shot a dirty look in the knight's general direction before quickly turning back to the dragon and continuing plaintively. "But, you see, we have no capable fighters in our ranks." She struggled to keep a straight face.

Percival glared at her.

Fred was still busy contending with the lizard on his face and didn't hear the comment.

Her eyes assumed a begging puppy dog expression. "So we could really use the help of your dragon knight," She nodded towards the sleeping Futch. "…and you as well, of course, should you choose to come," She trailed off hopefully.

Bright cocked his head to one side for a moment, considering her proposition. He looked to each of Her animals, lingering quizzically on Fred's charge for a while.

"Well, what do you say?" She continued anxiously. "Do we have an agreement?"

The dragon gave a snort of amusement in Fred's general direction before settling his whirling eyes back on Her. Finally, he made a soft sound of acquiescence.

She smiled in triumph, then quickly assumed a serious look. "There is one thing though." She held up a finger.

Bright eyed her suspiciously.

She averted her eyes to the ground mournfully. "I don't think I can convince him to come to my ran-training facility on my own and you certainly can't convey something that complex so…"

_Later that morning_

"Briiiiight! Briiiight!" The NPC's all stared as Futch ran frantically across the castle grounds calling for his dragon. Finally he stopped near the lake, scratching his head in puzzlement. Sharon came running up to him from the other direction. He looked at her with a hopeful expression. "Any sign of him?"

She shrugged apologetically. "Sorry Futch. I got nothin'."

Futch sighed in frustration. Suddenly, he heard a piteous squealing sound coming from the stable grounds.

"Bright!" He quickly sprinted towards the direction of the sound. "Hold on! I'm coming Bright!"

"Hey! Wait for me Futch!" Sharon shouted, scrambling after the panicking dragon knight.

As Futch rounded the corner to the stables he gasped in shock. There was his dragon, stomach down, struggling against the half dozen ropes that held him to the ground.

"I'll get you free, buddy!" Futch shouted, drawing his sword while running to Bright's side. He raised his sword to cut the first rope. His strategy proved to be pointless however, as Bright suddenly gave a ferocious roar and heaved himself off the ground, escaping the ropes with ease.

"Wha…" a startled Futch dropped his sword as he was forced a half step backwards. "Briiight!" Futch's eyes widened as Bright's tail wrapped around him, pinning the dragon knight to the dragon's white body. "What are you doing? Come on now! What kind of a game is this?"

"Bright!" Sharon rushed over and started pounding on the dragon's tail. "Stupid dragon! Let him out!"

She and her entourage stepped out from the shadows of the barn and approached the dragon knight team.

"Nice work, Bright." She affectionately rubbed Bright's nose. He nuzzled Her in return.

Sharon stopped pounding on Bright's tail to survey the scene.

"Bright!" Futch cried out. The dragon turned to look at his knight.

She assumed a reasurring smile as Her eyes turned to Futch. "Oh, don't worry. You won't be hurt. I'm just going to add you to my collection."

Bright turned quickly towards Her and tensed.

"Of fighters," She added rapidly. The dragon to relaxed.

She sighed in annoyance at Her slip up. "That could've been bad." She mumbled.

"I've been betrayed by my own dragon," Futch moaned.

Sharon smiled knowingly at him. "You can be sure that when I get MY own dragon, he won't sell me out for a pair of pretty eyes."

Percival covered his mouth to stifle a laugh, his eyes glittering with amusement.

Fred cleared his throat, looking annoyed.

Futch scowled at his charge. "I don't suppose you're going to try to help me out of this."

"Hmmm. I could help you." Sharon looked at Her. "But I think I'll join Her instead. She seems to have a lot more fun than anyone at this dinky old castle."

Futch sighed resignedly.

She shrugged. "The more the merrier!"

Fred cleared his throat insistently.

"What, Fred?" She turned an annoyed look at him.

"Will someone please get this thing out of my hair!" Everyone turned to see Xena nestled comfortable in the middle of Fred's hair.

Percival's eyes sparkled with malice. "You know, I think she likes you Fred."

Fred scowled at Percival.

"You guys are extremely…unique. Ya know?" She remarked fondly.

"Yeah…We know." Percival shrugged.

She turned back to the dragon and his captured knight beseechingly. "Bright. Could you carry Futch to the door of the castle?"

"Hey! What about this?" Fred pointed to the gecko on his head.

She sighed in exasperation and turned to Percival. "You know, I think I really _would_ rather have Borus here right now."

He shook his head. "Trust me. You don't."

"What was that?" Fred shouted.

She turned to Fred and smiled sweetly. "What I said was that I don't see the problem here. Xena looks pretty comfortable to me. I think you're doing a _wonderful_ job!" She gestured towards the lizard.

Fred sighed uncertainly, torn between pleasure at Her praise and annoyance at the creature messing up his hair.

"Bright?" She turned to the dragon pleadingly.

Bright compliantly stood up, tail still curled gently around Futch and proceeded to follow Her, Sharon, and the two knights back to the castle.

She opened the doors to the main entrance and approached the teleportress near the wall slowly. "Now Viki…I need you to teleport me, Fred, Percival, Sharon, Bright and Futch…" She pointed to each person as she spoke his or her name and then pointed to the coordinates on her map. "to this spot. Can…you…do…that."

"That wasn't phrased as a question," quipped Percival.

Viki looked at the Swordsman of Gale, puzzled.

She sighed, mustering her patience. "Percival. Be quiet. You're confusing her."

Percival smirked sardonically. "Well that was difficult."

She sighed and tried again. "Viki?" Viki turned to Her. "Very good. Keep your eyes on me." Viki stared into Her eyes. "This spot, okay?" She pointed at the correct spot on the map again.

Viki nodded. "Sure. I can do that!"

_Blink._

"Oops." Viki scratched her head. "Hmmm…Maybe I _should_ be practicing this a little more."

* * *

_Again, requests are more than welcome although I have next chapter sort of planned out. Thanks for reading!_


	5. Plan 5: The King of Bishounen

_Special thanks to all who reviewed. You all get virtual brownies courtesy of my roommate who isn't getting any good reviews and so has extra to spare. Also, this chapter is very long compared to others I have written. If you like the longer chapters, please tell me and if you don't...well you can tell me that too._

_Just a warning for you all, Borus has a really, really bad day in this chapter. And when I say really bad I mean the mother of all bad days. But it's fun for everyone else! _

_Also, in regards to a chapter about Landis, I want to catch bishounen, not creepy wingers who are obsessed with the grim reaper and death in general. Besides, he isn't even really "catchable" in Suikoden III. He just kind of pops into your party and decides to join the 108 stars._

_ Disclaimer: Suikoden is not mine in any way, shape or form. I am reminded of this fact every day and am only consoled by the realization that I own all three games and the mangas (and the picture on my wall).  
_

_

* * *

_

_Chapter 5: The King of Bishounen: First Attempt aka Borus' Really Bad Day  
_

After successfully capturing four bishounen, She considered Herself ready to go after Her intended quarry, Albert Silverberg. She recently received special intelligence that the green-eyed redhead would be meeting contacts at the town square inn in Vinay del Zexay over the weekend. Unfortunately, as the day was Monday, She had only a few days to conjure up a trap good enough to ensnare the clever Silverberg. She enlisted the help Percival and spent an exhausting week in the chemisty lab trying to mix up a substance suitable for a trap. Finally on Friday night, in a state of chemically induced fatigue, She accidently mixed together two chemicals labeled "Volatile" and exposed them to heat. After Percival and She got up from the floor, cleaned up all the broken glass and captured the hot mixture into a beaker, She noticed that it cooled off into a very valuable substance. The only problem was that there really was no time to test it. Granted, all of Her previous traps were also untested, but this _was_ Albert Silverberg and he needed special consideration.

She found out that there was no need to worry though, as when She walked down the stairs to breakfast early Saturday morning, She heard an expression of indignation that sounded suspiciously like Borus coming from the dining area. She ran towards the sound, hoping Percival hadn't messed with Borus' cereal again. Of course, that was as futile as wishing the latter knight was not so gullible. Just a few days ago, the Swordsman of Gale somehow snuck some sort of insect in the other Knight's cereal and convinced him it was just a different _type_ of raisin mixed in with the bran. Well, it actually worked until Borus actually bit into it. In trying to stop the impending fight She was instead fortunate enough to get hit by a 40 mph cereal bowl originally targeted at Percival. She stopped her jog and winced. She still had a bump on Her head from that incident, although…She smiled secretively, it was almost worth it to wake up to the vision of a concerned Percival leaning over you and a worried Borus pacing in the background.

She was jostled out of her reverie by another shout coming from the kitchen. This time there was no mistaking the anger in the voice.

"Come back here you little twit! I'll teach you to mess with a noble Knight of Zexen!"

She snorted as She quickly resumed her run towards the source of the sound. Noble knight indeed. That wasn't exactly the first word that came to mind when She thought of Borus. In fact, that wasn't even the second or third. She thought for a moment, then relented. He did try…sometimes. She rolled Her eyes, nearly bumping into Sharon near the entranceway to the dining hall.

"Sorry," the red-eyed girl mumbled rather unapologetically as she rushed in the opposite direction. She stopped to watch the future dragon knight round the corner towards the exercise yard, wondering again if it was a good idea to keep the mischievous girl here. She shrugged. Oh well. The girl certainly kept Futch on his toes. And, surprisingly, he seemed rather fond of her. Speaking of the bishounen dragon knight, he suddenly came rushing out of the hall.

"Sharon," Futch called out, the tone of his voice strained. He stopped when he reached Her, puffing with effort from chasing the energetic girl.

"She went that way," She responded to his beseeching eyes.

"Thanks," Futch gave Her a grateful smile before resuming his chase.

She watched him round the corner, a mysterious smile on Her face. There was nothing She loved more than watching Her bishounen…She grimaced…unless there were flying projectiles involved. This reminded Her of Her mission and caused Her to walk reluctantly to the entranceway of the hall. She stopped there and attempted to smother a laugh at the sight that greeted Her. There was poor Borus, attempting to get out of his chair, obviously stuck to the offending object, and there was Percival on the other side of the table, just about choking with laughter. Fred and Rico were looking at the scene with varying expressions of bemusement. Fred was no doubt trying to puzzle out what was going on and Rico was too polite to outright laugh at the struggling knight. She shook Her head. Just like Borus to let Percival lure him into one of Her traps…again.

"Someone is going to pay for this!" the blond Swordsman started out angrily while looking back at the chair. "…as soon as I get out…" he trailed off piteously, causing Her to feel a slight pang of remorse at the knight's condition. Then Borus recovered his...poise and resumed his rant. "Percival," he threatened, his eyes glittering with anger. "If you had something to do with this…" he shook a finger at his friend.

The addressed knight shrugged helplessly, still laughing.

Borus looked towards the entrance of the hall and noticed Her standing there, gazing at the scene with interest. His eyes took on a relieved expression. "Finally. Help arrives."

Well, She didn't know if She would go that far. Just because She agreed to keep the shock collar off him…But She carefully mustered up Her dignity and walked into the dining hall to attempt to salvage the situation. She didn't _think_ Borus could hurt Percival in his present state anyway, which was good because Percival certainly couldn't defend himself with any sort of success doubled over in laughter such as he was.

"I don't know," She started reluctantly. You're not going to throw your cereal bowl again are you?" She continued facetiously.

Borus, however, took Her comment seriously and assumed a chastised expression. "Well…"

"He already did," offered Fred from a neighboring table, pointing at Percival who was indeed covered in cereal and milk. She wondered that She didn't notice that before. The knight himself didn't seem to notice or perhaps, just didn't care about his hygiene at the moment as he was completely wrapped up in the humor of his friend's predicament. She quickly stifled the grin that once again threatened to come to Her own lips at Borus' current situation.

"Percival." She nodded a greeting to him as solemnly as She could. "May I ask what exactly is going on here?"

Percival gasped for breath and turned to Her, still grinning. "I…er…that is…_Sharon _wanted to see if your new trap would work. And, as you can see, the trial run was a success."

She raised Her eyebrows in disbelief and turned to Percival to eliminate Borus from Her peripheral vision. She was having some difficulty restraining Her laughter and knew if he caught Her laughing it would ignite him further. "And _whose_ idea was it to make _Borus_ the lab rat?" As She gestured at the knight behind Her, Her mouth betrayed Her and twitched in a smile.

"What exactly are you inferring?" Percival tried and failed to twist his features into an expression resembling innocence. Failing this, he settled them back into a grin.

She gave in and smiled in spite of Herself before resuming an interrogating pose. "Can you honestly say you didn't con Sharon into putting _my _homemade superglue onto this chair and then dupe Borus into sitting in it?"

"Well," Percival cocked his head in feigned thoughtfulness. "Not honestly." His eyes glistened with tears of laughter and he struggled to keep a straight face.

She sighed and shook Her head. "I'd hate to see what you do to people you don't like." She took a deep breath in an attempt to compose Herself and turned to face Borus. She couldn't quite keep her eyes from sparkling in amusement but She _was_ able to control Her laughter by biting Her lip.

"I assume you're going to fix this!" Borus crossed his arms and met Her eyes indignantly.

"Of course." Her eyes dropped to the ground in sudden realization. "Onlyyy… Ummm… That is…I don't have anything to…undo the…stickiness." She looked at Borus apologetically.

Borus' eyes widened in shock. "You don't…have…"

"Now Borus." She gestured placatingly with Her hands as the knight began to visibly hyperventilate. She wished She had some WD-40, but She used that up yesterday getting Sharon's gum out of Futch's hair.

"You can't get me free!" the Swordsman of Rage shouted in a panic while glaring at Percival, who dissolved in another fit of laughter at the announcement.

"Now Percival. This wasn't a very nice prank," She attempted to berate the laughing knight. "Imagine. Sweet-talking an innocent child into helping you embarrass your best friend."

"Hey! Wait a second now…Who are you calling innocent?" Percival raised an eyebrow at Her.

_"Finally he was being avenged. About time," Borus _thought as he gave a tight nod of agreement. The moment was fleeting though, as She could no longer contain Herself and finally joined Percival in a mutual fit of laughter.

"This is NOT funny!" Borus protested. "Guys!" His voice took on a note of desperation.

"You're right. You're right," She attempted to calm Herself down. "Oh, who'm I kidding?" She shrugged and broke down laughing again.

Borus stared at the Her and Percival, appalled. Just then Sharon came running into the dining room, a crowbar in hand. "Here ya go!" The miniature dragon knight offered the crowbar to Her with mischievous eyes. "Maybe you can pry him off with this." Her eyes glinted in delight. This place was much more fun than that broken down old castle.

Percival choked back a laugh.

"Sharon!" She attempted to appropriate a scandalized expression, which lost some of its effect since she was still grinning. "Where'd you find that?" She took the crowbar and made a show of carefully examining it. She looked at Borus and then at the crowbar, repeating the performance a couple of times and smiling at the knight's obvious discomfort.

"If you come anywhere near me with that," he warned.

She sighed in mock disappointment. "You're not much fun, Borus."

His eyes narrowed.

"I'm just kidding. I would _never_ try to pry you off that chair with a crowbar."

"Awww. What a letdown." Sharon's shoulders slumped in disappointment.

She flashed Sharon a wicked grin. "Oh, don't worry, Sharon. I have you playing an integral role in helping me catch my next bishounen. I can guarantee that it will be…" She glanced at Borus "…interesting." She gave Sharon a wink.

Sharon grinned maliciously.

"Anyway, I'm sure our friend Percival here can think of a much more embar...er...creative solution to our problem here."

Percival cocked his head in thought, still smiling in amusement.

"Sharon!" sounded a berating voice. Everyone looked to see Futch standing in the entranceway, heaving with exhaustion, one hand on the doorframe for support.

Sharon put on an innocent look. "Oh. Hi Futch!" She waved at the dragon knight cheerfully.

"Hi…_puff_…Futch?" He questioned incredulously before collapsing in a heap by the entranceway.

She rushed towards the fallen figure of Futch, worry-lines creasing Her face. "Futch?" She knelt down by him and gently touched his shoulder before turning to the other bishounen. "I think we should leave him here this time. Look at him. He's exhausted! Poor exhausted dragon knight." She made sympathetic sounds directed at Futch and patted his hair soothingly.

"Poor…exhausted…dragon knight?" Borus sputtered. "What. Do I have to collapse in a heap of exhaustion to get some attention around here!"

She gave the knight a wry look. "I think you're getting a lot of attention Borus." She smiled. "Just because it's not the kind of attention you want…"

"I got it!" cried Percival one finger in the air in triumph. "I know how we can get him loose!"

She turned dubious eyes in Percival's direction. Hopefully he hadn't thought of an idea that would be _too_ traumatizing for Borus.

_Later in Vinay del Zexay_

"Are you sure Borus is going to be okay?" She cast a concerned look at Percival.

"Sure," Percival smiled charmingly, turning to Her. So She _was_ actually worried about his friend. Interesting. "Why wouldn't he be?"

She looked at Percival balefully. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe because we had to cut his pants off to free him from the chair, causing him to be reduced to a state of extreme mortification?"

Percival grinned. "Oh yeah. That was fun."

She looked at the knight facetiously. "Oh yes. My favorite thing to do in the morning is prying potentially dangerous men off chairs."

"It's a good thing you had those sedatives on hand," Percival remarked cheerfully.

She glared at Percival. "Yeah...a very good thing, only then his head kept falling in his lap and getting in the way.".

"Yeah, but that was great thinking on your part to tip him and the chair on their sides," Percival's eyes glinted in amusement.

"And you were just a _fantastic_ help," She retorted.

"I was _observing_." Percival met Her gaze innocently.

"You were drawing it out," She countered.

"Hey guys?" Sharon interrupted.

"What?" both Percival and She cried unanimously.

"Maybe we should try to be a little more inconspicuous," the girl rebuked them.

They looked around, noticing the many strange stares they were getting from the NPC townsfolk before grinning sheepishly at one another.

Sharon rolled her eyes in an exaggerated fashion. "And I thought Fred would be the one to give us away."

"What exactly _is_ the plan, again?" the aforementioned knight asked.

She sighed wearily.

"Master Fred." Rico smiled up at him. "Don't you remember?"

Fred stared at his assistant blankly.

She glanced at Percival. "I knew there was a reason I brought Rico along."

"You and I are going to cause a distraction that causes Albert to get out of his seat. Then Sharon is going to sneak in and slather the glue on the chair. When he sits back down he should get stuck to it," Rico finished, staring at Fred with adoring eyes.

"Theoretically speaking," commented Percival.

Fred nodded slowly. "And why am _I_ doing this again?"

"Because he is one fourth of the evil you're after," She immediately answered.

"Really?" Fred's eyes gleamed with anticipation. "And we're going to subdue him?"

"Uhhh…yeah, You could say that." Luckily Fred saved Her from elaborating on the situation by drilling Her with another question.

"Why isn't Percival helping with the distraction?"

"That would be too conspicuous," She replied. "A knight of Zexen, especially one of the Mighty Six, would never cause a scene in a public place… except maybe Borus."

"Oh," Fred nodded, accepting Her answer.

"Anyway, here we are," She whispered as they reached the door to the inn.

"Why are you whispering?" Percival whispered.

"I don't know," She whispered back, grinning. "Can you see him?" She asked Sharon.

"I see him. He's sitting at the table in the far right corner."

"My right or your right?" asked Fred.

Sharon looked at him disdainfully. "When you go through the door to the inn," she paused significantly, "turn right and go straight to the end. There's three other people sitting with him. He's the one with the purply-red hair. Even _you_ can't miss him."

"Okay." Fred nodded eagerly. "Finally justice will be served."

Sharon turned to Her. "Why do you bring him along again?"

"He's actually a great help," She answered.

Sharon looked at her doubtfully.

She shrugged. "I know. I was surprised when I realized that as well."

As this exchange was occurring, Fred had taken matters into his own hands and burst into the inn. "Ah ha! There you are!" he exclaimed dramatically pointing an accusing finger at Albert.

Albert jerked back in surprise, but quickly recovered his composure. "Excuse me?" he answered coolly.

"Go, go!" She whispered to Sharon, shooing the girl into the inn.

Sharon quickly scurried into the inn. She hurriedly took Sharon's place by the window, cautiously peering in to watch Al…er…the scene.

"You heard me." Fred menacingly sauntered over to the strategist, Rico right on his heels.

Albert stood up. "You _must_ be mistaken. _I_ am…"

"I know who you are," Fred interrupted, a knowing smile on his face as Sharon rushed in and smothered the chair with glue unnoticed. Fred stopped in front of Albert and gave the strategist an intent look. "You are one-fourth of the evil I am searching for."

"Only one-fourth?" Albert questioned, smiling condescendingly at the knight. "Pray tell, who makes up the other three-fourths of this so-called evil?"

"Huh?" Fred stare changed to incomprehension.

Albert just sighed disdainfully.

"Uhhh. Just a second." He bustled out of the inn and turned to Her, who was still staring at the window. She ducked as Albert looked towards Her.

"Fred," She whispered urgently. "What are you doing?"

"He asked who the other three-fourths of the evil were and _you _didn't tell me that." Fred sounded reproachful.

She sighed in frustration and hit Her forehead with Her hand.

Sharon, who had already returned from her errand, groaned and even Percival's shoulders slumped with discouragement.

Fred hesitantly looked back and forth between the group, not exactly certain what he had done wrong.

She turned Her eyes back to the window, vainly hoping Albert would ignore Fred's suspicious behavior. Albert stood there for a moment, a contemplative expression on his face. He said something to his contacts and they quietly walked out of the inn. She and the group darted around to the side of the inn to escape detection and watched as the four walked down the street of the Vinay del Zexay.

Her bishounen looked at Her in sympathy.

"I failed." Fred sounded disbelieving. "In my defense, he doesn't really look evil."

Sharon's eyebrows rose and Percival gave the other knight a sardonic look.

She patted Fred on the back consolingly. "There, there, Fred." She sighed. "He was just too clever for us, that's all." Her eyes dimmed in disillusionment. In a falsely cheerful tone, She declared, "There's always next time!" This failed to hearten the team, who were sinking into Her grim mood.

"Next time huh?" a coldly sardonic voice interrupted Her pep talk. The team turned around simultaneously to none other than _the_ Albert Silverberg. She froze in a mixture of shock and fascination. He was close enough for Her to reach out and touch.

He eyed Her scornfully as She and the rest of the members of Her group stood up. "Did Caesar put you up to this? No. Don't answer that. I can see you're working off your own prerogative." His eyes narrowed suspiciously. "I heard rumors of a girl who was catching...hmmm…shall we say…young men of a…particular nature. I assume you are She." He smiled at his cleverness.

Percival purposefully matched the strategist's arrogant pose. "Maybe She is and then again, maybe She isn't."

Albert smirked. "Oh please," he patronized the entire group, before directly addressing Her. "I obviously have talent far superior to those you have…_collected_."

Her eyes glinted dangerously before assuming a haughty expression. "Perhaps," She responded carefully. "And then again, perhaps not." She smiled mysteriously. "You'd be surprised what people can do under proper motivation." Her eyes narrowed. "Actually maybe _you_ wouldn't be." She fingered Her chin in thought.

Much to Her surprise (and delight) Albert affected a wary expression, if for only an instant, before once again regaining his composure. He smirked sardonically. "Well then, untill we meet again." The strategist gave Her a mocking bow before making his exit.

"Sweet dreams," She called, almost tauntingly, after him. She sighed longingly as he vanished into the crowd.

"You're goggling," Percival observed.

"I do not _goggle_!" She exclaimed in indignation.

"Well, you're goggling right now," Percival returned.

"You know, I have to agree with Percival this time," Sharon seconded.

"You guys are _so_ supportive." Her eyes rolled with sarcasm.

They started to walk away when a sudden shout of shock came from inside the inn. The team rushed back inside to see what the commotion was about. Her eyes dazzled at the sight and She smiled ironically.

"Hey! What is this?" the voice cried.

"Caesar?" Percival stared at the strategist in astonishment.

She considered her catch for a moment. "Not quite what I had in mind, but not bad. Not bad at all."

"I DEMAND someone get me out of here RIGHT now!" Caesar…well…demanded.

"Oh crap." Her mouth curled in a grimace.

"You don't have anything to un-stick him do you," observed Percival.

"Nope."

Percival smiled dryly. "I'm not doing it."

She gave a dramatic sigh, then looked at the guys. "Okay, here's the new plan. Since you guys failed in catching Albert you get to carry Caesar out of the city."

"_You_ were trying to catch _Albert_?" Caesar shouted incredulously.

The team ignored him. "That's not fair!" cried Percival. "I was just here for moral support."

"And yet I was still depressed when the trap failed."

"Shot down!" shouted Sharon, giving Her a high five.

Percival flinched and searched for another excuse. "Can't you just use your blinking mirror to get back to the castle?"

Caesar looked at Her sharply, forgetting Albert for the moment. "_You_ have a blinking mirror?"

She ignored the strategist. "One of the mirror's limitations is that it doesn't work inside cities for some reason."

"How does it know when you're inside a city?" Percival inquired.

"I don't know. Maybe you should ask it. Now come on." She glared at Percival impatiently. "You can't con me, Percival."

He made one last, desperate attempt to get out of the work. "You did get to ogle Albert for a while."

She tapped Her foot impatiently.

Percival sighed. "All right." He walked over to one side of the chair.

"Hey!" Caesar glanced around the inn for support. "What are you doing? You can't do this to me! I am the main strategist for the Fire bringer army. They'll hunt you down!"

Percival glanced at Caesar. "Doubt it. Anyway, this is what you get for eavesdropping on your brother. Ready Fred? One…two…three." The two knights grunted as they hefted the chair.

"Unhand me at once! There will be serious repercussions for your actions!" By now Caesar was frantically waving his arms.

She looked at the strategist skeptically.

Sharon mimicked Her look. "Yeah. Whatever. I'd like to see them take on Her fortress."

"It's not _exactly _a fortress," She corrected.

"Oh. Riiight." Sharon winked at Her. "What I meant to say was, they wouldn't want to destroy her first-class resort, complete with beach, indoor swimming pool, hot tub and spa."

"Actually, it has both indoor and outdoor swimming pools, several hot tubs and a spa," corrected Percival.

"What. No beach?" commented a sarcastic Caesar.

"Not even a tanning booth," She grinned, enjoying the bantering.

Caesar gave her a dry look. "I see."

"They're very unhealthy for you, you know."

Percival grinned. "She is very concerned about our health."

"That explains why I'm eternally stuck to this chair." Caesar's voice dripped with sarcasm.

"Not eternally Caesar. The trap was tested out earlier and the victi…uh…subject was successfully freed without injury to himself."

"Well _that's_ good." Caesar looked at Her distrustfully.

"You know, Caesar, I could use a first class strategist on my team."

Caesar's eyes lit up. "I'm listening."

Her mouth twitched. "Would you like to help me catch one?"

He glowered. "Very funny. He turned to Percival. "Does She always do this?"

"No," replied Percival, nonchalantly. "I'm usually responsible for teasing people." He sighed, pretending to be crestfallen.

"Sorry to take away your purpose in life Percy," She commented facetiously.

"I forgive you…" He managed to keep a small voice.

"Gee thanks." She rolled her eyes good-humouredly.

"But don't call me that."

* * *

_Okay, for all you Borus lovers out there, I'm really, really sorry about this chapter. I'ts not that I don't like him, but it's so much fun to torture, I mean humiliate, errr cause him to be in a general state of distress. But look at the bright side, this could've happened in public. Anyway, please review. I live for them. If you have any ideas for a trap I could use in subsequent chapters please let me know by review or email. Otherwise you will be forced to wait an incredible amount of time before the next chapter comes up because I'm running out of ideas. Also, I would like to have Caesar help me catch one or two random **bishounen **before I go after my next major target so if you guys have any preferences on **bishounen** for me to write on, let me know and I will do my best to include them in the next one or two chapters! Thanks for reading!_  



	6. Plan 6: The Spy

_Author's Note_

_Ok. Here is another long chapter. Again, I apologize but I have a lot of fun writing these chapters. And Sparrow Nightrunner, if you're reading this I am commissioning you to draw a picture of Percival in sunglasses. All the inspiration you need should be in this chapter. You can include anyone else in the picture as well. And I still like that one with me and the bishounen on leashes. Anyway…for everyone else reading, enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Suikoden or any of the characters in it. Oh yeah, I also don't own Versace or Gucci. If I was that successful I would write a novel, publish it, sell millions of copies and make millions of dollars...or something like that.

* * *

_

_  
Chapter 6: The Spy_

After getting her newest addition back to the ranch, She decided that before anything else was started, it would be a good idea to brew up an antidote for Her super glue. Not only did She not want to have to cut Caesar's pants off him but She also did not want Her only strategist to lose face so quickly with the other bishounen. And besides, She suspected that both Sharon and Percival had swiped some of the solution for future use on some poor unsuspecting blonde knight that shall remain nameless. So She put on Her white lab coat, safety goggles and fire resistant gloves and headed to Her chemistry lab with Her collection of bishounen (plus Rico and Sharon). Before actually starting the project She elected to clarify their ultimate goal and also address some safety concerns about the lab.

"Okay guys!" She had all the bishounen lined up in a semi-circle at the front of the lab. "The goal is to make a remedy for the superglue. Got it?"

The bishounen all smiled at each other in childish glee. They were, after all, going to get to play with dangerous chemicals today.

"Oh yeah." She added as an afterthought and handed each of them a heavy booklet, causing them to fall to the ground. "And here's a list of hazardous chemicals. Just ask me if you're in doubt, okay? The last thing I need today is an explosion."

They nodded solemnly, not really listening.

She continued on persistently. "The eye wash is over there." She pointed near the door. "The fire blanket is over there." She pointed at the other corner of the room. "And the shower is over there. But don't use that unless you spilled acid all over yourself or something dire like that because there's no drain in the lab, and I'm not cleaning it up. Got it?"

The bishounen exchanged wary glances with each other, reflexively stepping away from Percival and Borus.

"Oh yes," She added. "Under the advice of Caesar, I've also _assigned_ certain lab benches and partners to you all in a way to minimize the harm you cause to each other."

The bishounen all looked at Her innocently.

"What, you don't trust us to all work cooperatively as a team?" Percival assumed a hurt expression.

"Uhhh. Let me think about that…No." She turned away from him. "Borus and Futch? You two have the adjoining two benches in the back of the lab. Sharon. You get your own bench across from those two. Percival gets the bench on the other side of the room near the door and Fred and Rico are sharing the bench across from Percival. Any questions?"

Caesar raised his hand. She had had the strategist (and the chair) placed in the lab near the door so he could observe the other bishounen working while thinking up a plan to catch the next bishounen.

She raised her eyebrows in wary amusement. "Yes, Caesar?"

"I just want everyone to know that I highly advise against allowing ANY of these people near dangerous chemicals, and if I had a choice I would be at the other end of this complex right now."

Percival smirked. "That wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that that's where the sauna is located, would it?"

Caesar flashed the knight a dirty look. "From what I've heard, it's dangerous to be in a room with you and Borus."

Percival flushed. "Hey! That…"

"Boys!"

They simultaneously cringed.

"That's enough." She turned to Caesar. "Caesar. Your advice has been duly considered and summarily rejected."

Caesar raised an eyebrow.

She smiled reassuringly. "Besides, some of the most important discoveries in history were made because of accidents in the lab."

"Yes," Caesar agreed. "But they were all practiced scientists."

She looked at him reproachfully.

"Can I at least have a suit of armor since I can't duck any foreign objects that might fly this way?"

"No."

"A helmet?"

"Uh-uh."

"Safety goggles?" His voice had a desperate tinge to it.

She paused, considering. "I suppose you can have a pair of safety goggles."

Caesar breathed a sigh of relief as She handed him his own pair of safety goggles.

"Okay! Everyone get to work." The bishounen smiled eagerly before setting the unread hazardous chemical booklets to the side, putting their goggles on and traveling to their respective lab benches.

The first five minutes went fine. Then they started mixing chemicals.

"What does this do?" She heard Futch ask himself in the corner while clicking the starter over the Bunsen burner.

"Futch, don't!" She screamed, putting out a hand towards him as if She could stop the impending chaos about to be caused at the other end of the room.

"What?" He sounded unconcerned. "I think it's broken."

Borus looked over at the dragon knight. "I think you should listen to H…"

A giant flame suddenly erupted from the burner. Futch quickly reached to unplug the device but accidentally hit the cord instead and succeeded only in tipping the apparatus over, causing the flame to point at Borus' bench.

"AH!" a startled Borus flung up his hands to shield his face from the flames and in doing so knocked over the beaker of the highly reactive solution he had been working on. The flame caught the flammable substance and caused fire to spew over the bench. The other bishounen's eyes widened as they watched the scene.

"Somebody get the fire extinguisher!" yelled Caesar. Sharon was closest to the extinguisher and quickly retrieved it from the wall and put the fire out, saturating the knights in the process.

She looked at the knight's beratingly. They smiled at Her guiltily.

"Well, that was exciting," mocked Caesar. "Can I leave now?"

"Nice job Borus," Percival jeered from the other end of the room.

"Hey! It was Futch's fault!" he shouted, impulsively throwing his goggles at Percival.

Percival shouted as the goggles hit the substance in front of him, splashing it into his own unprotected eyes. "Ahh! My eyes!" She looked at Percival in alarm, trying to stay calm.

"Rico! Get him to the eyewash," She ordered. As the girl obeyed, She turned to scowl at the rest of her bishounen in rebuke. "Do you people have something against eye protection?"

"Ummm. I don't." Caesar raised his hand, while attempting to edge the chair closer to the door.

Then She realized there was a foul smell coming from the fume hood. "Did you forget to turn the fume hood on!" She screamed. "You did NOT just mix fluorine with the hydrogen bromide!" A tiny flame flickered up from the solution.

"It's kind of cute!" Fred exclaimed. "Don't worry! I'll just throw some water on it."

"NO! Everybody get down!" She shrieked and tackled Fred to the floor as the gas mixture caused a minor explosion to resonate throughout the lab.

"Is everyone okay?" She asked as the smoke cleared. She slowly got up, flipped the fume hood switch to "on" and looked around to check everyone's status. "Caesar!" She called to the limp form of the strategist lying on the ground.

"Don't worry about me. I'm fine. A little injured, but fine." He waved a hand in Her direction before letting it fall limply to the floor.

"Okay…Everyone out!" She shouted. "And someone pick up Caesar on the way out."

She quickly ushered everyone out of the lab and shut the door behind her. "Well, the lab'll definitely have to be fumigated after this." She sighed, and turned to Her gathered bishounen.

"At least Caesar's out of the chair," Futch offered while slumping his shoulders.

She looked at the strategist lying in Futch's arms. "Causing him to be bodily thrown out of the chair wasn't exactly what I had in mind."

Percival shrugged. "But it worked."

She sighed.

"I am going to eventually regain my sight right?" he asked, causing Borus to shift his feet uncomfortably and find sudden great interest in the floor.

She glared balefully at Borus while answering. "I think so. It didn't look like too much got in your eyes and I think the eye wash got most of it out." She smiled at Rico.

Just then Caesar popped back into consciousness and held his head up weakly.

She looked at him worriedly. "Caesar? Are you okay?"

He smiled groggily at Her and held up a finger. "I have a plan."

"Really." She raised Her eyebrows doubtfully as his hand fell limply to his side.

"He passed out again," Futch declared discomfitedly.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to trust a plan formulated by someone drifting in and out of consciousness?" Percival questioned.

Caesar roused himself out of unconsciousness to defend himself. "I assure you my plan is infallible!" he shouted defensively, jerking his head in anger. "Ohhh," he groaned putting a hand to his head.

"Are you permanently awake now?" She questioned hopefully.

"Someone get the shoe prints of that horse," Caesar slurred before passing out again.

"I'll take that as a no."

_A couple days later_

"Why does he get cool sunglasses again?" Borus whined.

"Because his eyes are still extremely sensitive to the light." She sighed. "We went over this Borus."

Borus looked at the ground dejectedly. "But don't you think spending 100,000 potch on a pair of sunglasses was a little much? That's more than five pieces of _mole_ armor."

Her voice took on a shows-what-you-know tone. "They're _designer_ sunglasses, Borus. Besides, my poor wittle Percy was traumatized by his wab accident. Weren't you Percy?"

Percival hesitated before assuming a puppy dog expression and nodding pitifully, not quite sure if She was mocking him or genuinely sorry.

"Maybe if you stopped throwing things at him he would stop getting expensive gifts," Caesar remarked, walking up to the group and earning a dirty look from Borus.

"Easy for you to say," Borus growled. "So why does _he _get designer sunglasses?" He gestured towards the strategist.

She shrugged. "He's my strategist. I thought a self esteem booster wouldn't hurt."

"Wait," Percival stopped. "You thought a _Silverberg_ would need a self esteem booster?"

She had the grace to at least look somewhat abashed.

"I don't think that even a tangible excuse." Percival looked at the sky as if considering the possibility.

"Nice word," Caesar complimented him. "Tangible."

"Thanks." Percival smirked.

"I prefer pedantic myself," She smiled mischievously.

"What exactly are you inferring?" Caesar questioned defensively.

"But 100,000 potch for sunglasses?" Borus sputtered. "They don't even have a purpose They…"

Caesar interrupted the Swordsman of Rage. "Let me just make one point clear. _My_ sunglasses are Gucci and serve a very important purpose, to emphasize my good looks as well as my winning personality, witty remarks and extraordinary intelligence."

Both Percival and She smothered sardonic snorts.

"_His_,on the other hand are Versace." Caesar grimaced, his voice dripping with disdain. "Very different. I'm not exactly sure what purpose _they _serve."

"What exactly are you implying?" Percival frowned at Caesar.

"Boys," She warned, then chose a different strategy and moderated Her tone, smiling sweetly. They looked at Her warily. "Both of your sunglasses are equally stylish, equally cool and equally expensive."

They stepped down, momentarily subdued.

She sighed in relief.

"Anyway, Caesar."

He looked in Her direction as the group started walking again.

"About this plan…

He smiled, completely recovered from the horror that was Versace sunglasses. "It's perfect. Okay, I had this hole dug…"

"A hole!" Borus shouted. "You really think a hole is going to be able to catch an international spy!"

"Let's see." She began counting on Her fingers. "Zexen, Grassland, Highland, Dunan and he works for Harmonia…Yeah, I guess he could be considered an international spy."

Percival chuckled under his breath. An insult of intelligence from Borus. That was degrading.

Caesar looked positively livid. "Are you calling me a moron?"

Borus sputtered defensively.

"Well, if the boot fits," Percival shrugged.

By this time Caesar was beginning to look like one of Bart's beloved tomatoes. Even his cheeks were puffed out.

"Yes…" She paused. "Umm. Not to doubt your vast intelligence or anything, but are you sure it's going to work?"

"You doubt my plan?" Caesar shouted at Her indignantly.

"It just seems a little too…simple." She chose Her words very carefully with the knowledge that one misplaced step could result in angry words, not to mention very expansive hand gestures. It worked.

"That's why it will work," Caesar replied simply.

"Duh," Percival quipped, mocking the strategist's tone of voice.

Borus was still staring moodily at the ground.

Caesar narrowed his eyes, trying to decide if it was he or She that was being mocked.

"Anyway, here we are!" She stated, overly cheerfully, as the group came to Mamie's Cafe.

"Okay. Is everything ready?" Caesar asked.

"Well…not that I doubt your plan or anything, but I got a little insurance to…aid in our success."

Caesar looked mildly indignant.

She pulled a sack out from behind Her back.

"You're going to throw a sack over his head?" Percival raised an eyebrow.

"No." She smiled tolerantly at the knight. "Let's just say I have something very…integral…to Nash's…income." She smiled diabolically.

The knight's took a step back.

Caesar tapped his chin. "You know, that smile reminds me of someone I know. Hmmm. Why can't I think of him? I think he's very close to me…" he trailed of in thought.

She sighed and started walking out into the lawn. "Don't think too hard Caesar. You might hurt yourself."

Caesar continued his thought process, oblivious to Her comments.

When She reached Her final destination She carefully opened up the sack, and was rewarded by a flying ball of feathers barreling out at her face. She grabbed the very stressed out homing pigeon and, after receiving a few pecks on the nose and a bloody finger, She finally got the bird tied to the ground. She returned to the rest of Her concerned group holding Her nose.

"Are you okay?" Percival asked.

"I'm fine." She waved him away impatiently.

"You think a _bird _is going to help you catch the spy?" Caesar looked at Her in disbelief.

She smiled at Caesar. "This isn't just any bird. This is Dominguez Jr., Nash's personal homing pigeon. In detaining the bird, I have cut off all lines of communication between Nash and his superiors. Plus, I hear that Nash has some sort of special…attachment to the bird."

Caesar became eerily silent.

Percival settled worriedly back into his chair.

"So…you really made your own plan," Percival stated slowly.

She shifted uncomfortably in Her chair.

"How did you…get…the bird?" Caesar asked weakly.

She paused uncertainly before relating the tale. "Ummm…Well, I hired one of the ninjas…ummm…Watari, I think his name was, to….uhhh," She paused when Caesar paled.

"Now why didn't you think of that Caesar?" Percival jibed.

Caesar swayed slowly from side to side, then composed himself. "How do you know that someone else isn't going to pay the ninja off against you?"

She smiled uncertainly. "Uhhh…You see…I paid him 1,000,000 potch and normal purses here only hold 999,999 potch, so…it's not really possible for him to be offered more."

"Very clever," Percival applauded. "I assume ninjas put their money in places aside from purses as well."

She nodded.

Caesar held his breath and closed his eyes.

Even Borus felt the tension and stopped glaring covetously at Percival's sunglasses to stare at the table.

"Anyway…I kind of had the ninja sneak a note into Nash's room while he was asleep saying that we had his bird…"

At this point, Caesar passed out on the table. "Caesar? Are you okay?" She shook him a little when there was no response. "Percival? Help?"

Percival licked his lips and nodded. "What. Tomatoes weren't good enough for you huh? You _had_ to set up a bird for hostage? Not very unique."

Caesar pathetically held his head up from the table, encouraged by this insult on Her intelligence.

"It's kind of my fall-back plan," She explained. She immediately realized this wasn't the right thing to say as Caesar began banging his head against the table.

"I see." Percival looked around wildly, not knowing how else to salvage the situation.

Borus looked at her, puzzled. "So why don't you use it with Albert?"

Caesar almost broke down in tears

"Because he doesn't care about anyone but himself." She shrugged. "So a hostage wouldn't work."

Caesar froze, considering this insult on his brother.

"Ahem."

The four looked up from the table to see a very irritated Nash hovering over them.

"I believe you have my bird."

She pointed. "You want him. Go get him," She challenged.

Nash narrowed his eyes and confidently sauntered over to the bird.

"Dominguez? You okay?" he asked quietly.

The bird calmed down and nodded.

"Hmmm." The spy saw the upturned dirt spanning a five foot radius around Dominguez Jr and sighed, not willing to walk into the oh-so-obvious trap.

She smiled in Her seat as Nash sauntered back to the table.

"What do you want?"

She grinned. "You."

He raised his eyebrows and smirked. "These guys just aren't enough for you, huh?"

She smiled overly sweetly at the implied insult on Her bishounen. "Oh no. They're suiting my purposes wonderfully. It's just that…I'm collecting bishounen and I only have five as of now, not including my all powerful strategist there."

Caesar scowled at Her.

Nash smiled. "The hole was his idea?"

She gestured for him to bend down so she could whisper in his ear. "I could use someone with a bit more intelligence," She murmured enticingly.

Nash considered for a moment. "And you'll let the bird go?"

"Mm-hmm," She assented.

He considered further. "If I can have a pair of sunglasses like those two have, I'll come."

"Agreed." She immediately shook on it.

"What?" shouted Borus. "This is so not fair!" he whined.

"I didn't think you particularly liked Nash," Percival commented as they walked over to the trap.

She shrugged. "I don't really, but I have a sunglass fetish."

"I see."

"So how does this trap work?" Percival gazed at the pigeon doubtfully.

"Untying the bird sets it off."

"Uh-huh. So how are we going to get the bird off?"

She pursed Her lips. "See. This is why I need a competent strategist. I can't think of everything, you know."

She suddenly smirked evilly. "Wait! I have an idea. Hey, Borus!"

Borus looked at Her hopefully.

"If you untie the bird I'll get you a pair of sunglasses."

"Really?" He sounded so hopeful She almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

* * *

_I know I sound like a broken record, but please review. _  



	7. Sidequest 1: The Mercenary Captain

_Authors note: Yes. I know Geddoe's not a bishounen. Just bear with me here. He is a means to the end, and I need him to further progress the "plot". Thanks for the reviews everyone! I appreciate them a lot. You all get virtual cookies or brownies or apples or whatever else you might like to eat. Oh yeah! And I promise to cycle around to all the bishounen (even the evil ones). Sorry for the long wait between updates. I had a lot of tests and projects and stuff due.  
_

_Disclaimer: I still don't own Suikoden.

* * *

_

_Sidequest: Catching the Mercenary Captain_

It occurred to Her that in order to catch the clever red haired strategist called Albert, she was going to need a first class strategist of Her own. Caesar was just a little too biased for this job and (although She would never even suggest the notion to him) not quite up to the task. However, this posed a great difficulty as, while She was fairly intelligent, She was obviously not up to the task of making and setting up a sufficient trap for a first class strategist either. But an idea came to Her one night at two in the morning, as most good ideas do. She quickly jotted it down before falling back into an uneasily slumber.

_In the training arena the next morning_

"You really think you can catch _him?_" smirked Percival. "I think you overestimate Yourself."

"I am not," She pouted sullenly as She glanced at the training arena. She'd been so focused that She hadn't even noticed a very determined Borus dueling a very grim looking Nash. Futch and Fred were on the other end of the arena, watching the fight unfold with interest.

Her eyes clouded with worry as She noticed how exhausted the combatants appeared. "How long have they been at it for? They're drenched with sweat."

Percival glanced at the wall clock at the end of the arena. "Oh. About an hour now."

"An hour?" Her eyes widened in shock. "What did Nash do to provoke Borus this time?"

"Your lack of faith in me is very reassuring," Nash commented before Borus lunged at him again.

"Something about impuning a lady's honor or some such," Percival's eyes twinkled with amusement.

She rolled Her eyes. "Of course it would have to be about Lady Chris wouldn't it?"

"Jealous?" Percival smirked.

She studied the duel with sudden interest, pointedly ignoring Percival's comment. "I didn't realize Nash could even fight with a sword. Why does he normally uses a _wrist launcher_?" Her lip curled with distaste.

Nash smirked, wryly, overhearing her comment. "Let's just say that I haven't had very good experiences with swords in the past." Borus and he were circling each other warily, both worn out from the fight.

She raised Her eyebrows with interest.

"Don't ask," he warned, shaking his head.

She shrugged and looked at Borus. "Do you think he should be wearing his sunglasses while fighting…" She whispered to Percival. "I mean, he's just asking for something to happen to them."

Percival snorted. "I TRIED asking him if I could hold on to them."

She looked at him reproachfully.

"Just to look at them of course," the knight added quickly.

"I'm sure your cause was purely noble," She retorted. "And that you didn't want to hold them just out of his reach and use them as a taunting device."

Percival looked at Her in wide-eyed innocence. "I assure you I would _never_ do something like that."

"Riiiight." She rolled Her eyes right before Borus lunged at the spy, pressing his attack.

Her eyes widened in sudden alarm. "They look pretty serious about this…"

Percival chuckled at Her discomfiture. "I don't think Borus can really hurt Nash."

"And Nash knows better than to hurt Borus," Caesar grinned as he entered the scene. "Actually we have a standing bet at this castle on how long it's going to take for Borus to break his sunglasses."

"That's not very nice!" She attempted to defend the blond knight. "What did people guess?" She asked eagerly.

Caesar smirked and took out a sheet of paper. "I bet 10 hours. Nash has 11 hours, and Percival bet 4 hours."

The knight shrugged. "So I underestimated him."

Caesar snorted. "We didn't ask Fred because there's really no sport in it and Futch didn't want to take part."

"So what's it been now?" She asked.

Caesar grimaced. "10 and a half."

She returned Her attention to Nash and Borus. Nash was barely fending off Borus' latest attack. Realizing his disadvantage, the spy threw down his sword and rolled out of attack range, as Borus raised his sword to strike again. Borus, being the honorable knight, was thrown off balance by this rather sneaky move. Nash gave him a little nudge and he hit the ground with a sickening crunch.

She winced. "There goes the sunglasses."

"Noooo," Borus let loose a heartwrenching moan as he pushed himself to his knees and noticed the shattered remains of his precious Armani sunglasses on the floor.

"I told you you shouldn't have worn those in here!" shouted Percival from the sidelines.

Futch and Fred began slowly edging their way towards the door.

Nash blinked. "Oops, I didn't mean it." He turned his head thoughtfully to the side. "Well, actually I did." He grinned at Caesar on the sidelines. "I win! Pay up." And with that he fished his new Rayban sunglasses out of his pocket, put them on with a flourish and began sauntering towards Caesar and Percival.

"Uh-oh," She sounded worried as Borus' menacingly turned towards Nash's backside, his eyes filled with rage.

"I got it," Percival flippantly responded to Her unspoken request, and walked quickly passed the spy, towards the Knight of Rage.

With a growl the knight heaved himself off the floor and prepared to launch himself at the retreating spy. Instead, he tripped over Percival's well placed foot and he found himself face down on the floor once again.

Nash turned around and grinned mockingly. "Hey, Borus. Maybe you should make that your permanent residence."

"Nash," She warned as Caesar handed him his winnings.

"A pleasure doing business with you." He nodded superiorily to Caesar and sauntered towards the door.

"It was for your own good," Percival insisted as he helped his friend to his feet.

Borus brushed himself off angrily and stalked over to where She was sitting.

"Well, those didn't last very long," She commented uneasily, as Borus slumped down in a chair next to Her.

_Later on at the castle…_

"Okay, the trap is all set to go."

Percival looked at Her. "You really think this is going to work?"

"Well, it's Caesar's idea."

Percival raised his eyebrows. "My question still stands."

"He claims it's infallible…Nash helped," She continued.

Percival gave Her a pointed look causing Nash's eyes to smirk. "Just because your lady captain likes me better than you…"

Percival sputtered. "T..that's…"

She pursed Her lips. "Boys," Her voice had a warning tone to it. They both reluctantly subsided as She walked over to a very anxious Ace. "Now Ace. You know what you have to do right?"

"Yes." He scratched his head uneasily. "I have to stand here in front of the café and call for the Boss while waving my arms frantically in the air, right?"

"Exactly." She smiled at him.

"And you won't tell anyone about the…" Ace leaned close to her and whispered, "novel I'm writing for the paper."

She put a hand to her heart. "On my bishounens' honor."

Ace looked at Her uncertainly but decided to take Her at Her word. "Okaaay. Ummm."

"Yes?" She blinked innocently

"Nobody's going to get…hurt in this venture are they?"

"Of course n…Hmmm." She tapped Her chin thoughtfully. "About your novel…"

"Shhhh." Ace urgently put a finger to his lips. "I'll do it. I'll do it."

"Good." She clapped him encouragingly on the shoulder before joining the rest of the group at a table at Mamie's. She turned to Caesar. "This plan better work."

"Don't worry," he waved a hand at her in dismissal. "The plan is infallible…Unless you've decided to take matters into your own hands again…" he looked at Her accusingly.

Her eyes widened in feigned astonishment as She shook Her head in denial. "Not me!"

Caesar met her gaze with his most winning smile. "Good! Now sit down and watch the action unfold."

She obliged and took out a walkie-talkie, clicking the switch to on. "Okay… Fred?"

"I'm here Alpha Female."

She paused, her brow furrowed, and slowly looked at Percival. "What did you call me?" She asked into the microphone.

"Uhhh. It's code. You know. So people don't know who I'm talking to," Fred explained.

Caesar looked bemused as Nash swallowed a smirk and Percival buried his head in his hands.

She sighed. "Well then, Maxy, you know what to do?"

_Pause._

Percival smiled in amusement.

"Why do you even try?" Nash shook his head.

"Hey! Did I _ask_ for comments from the peanut gallery? He started this whole nickname thing."

"The what?" Caesar asked.

"Never mind." She sighed and talked into the microphone once again. "Fred, that was code name for you."

"Ohhh…Yeah! Of course I'm ready for action." The salute behind the words caused Her to crack a smile.

"Good." She switched the walkie talkie to the second channel. "Borus?" She waited. "Borus?"

"OUCH!" Yeah, I'm ready…I can't believe I've been reduced to this again!"

She turned to Percival. "I guess putting the shock collar back on him _was _a good idea."

Percival gave her a smug smile.

Caesar scowled, angry he hadn't thought of it.

"I suppose I could've just promised him another pair of sunglasses…"

Nash rolled his eyes. "What. So he could break them again?"

She switched the walkie talkie to the third channel.

"Sharon?"

"Ready and waitin' sista'"

She turned to Percival, perplexed. "What did she call me?"

Percival shrugged.

"Let's keep this show moving, huh?" Caesar urged.

She sighed. "Okaaaay. Go to it then."

Thirty seconds later a confounded Geddoe rounded the corner between the main entrance to the castle and Juan's dojo, an enraged-looking Fred hot on his heels. The knight was doing his best to appear intimidating, swinging his sword in circles over his head and shouting at the top of his lungs.

"Evil-Doer! You can run but you will never escape _the_ Maxy! I will vanquish you!

Geddoe turned to run towards the blacksmith shop, but all of a sudden Borus and Sharon came running from that very direction, Borus swinging his sword and Sharon wielding her spear. Both were yelling at the top of their lungs. As soon as Geddoe turned towards Mamie's café Borus stopped chasing him and crossed his arms, stubbornly. In his confusion, Geddoe didn't notice the knight's absence.

Percival's eyes glinted in amusement as he stifled a chuckle at the scene.

"Boss! Over here!" Geddoe shifted direction again and began running towards his "ally."

"ACE! What's going oooon?" Geddoe voice lilted as he tripped over a strategically placed loop and fell to the ground, catching himself with his hands. She pressed a button on her remote control and loops quickly came up over both his hands. He responded by chanting the spell for Thunder Runner.

_ZZAAAPPP!_

"Ahhhh!" Geddoe screamed and passed out as he was zapped by his own lightning magic.

"BOSS!" Ace ran to Geddoe and collapsed to his knees, eyes wide with shock.

"That was kind of dirty," commented Percival, glancing warily between Caesar and Nash. "Effective…but dirty."

Nash flashed a smug smile at Percival while Caesar looked at the Knight disdainfully. "I didn't hear any brilliant ideas being spouted from your mouth."

Percival raised an eyebrow.

Caesar became defensive. "It worked didn't it?"

"I guess," Percival replied sullenly.

"Hey Percival?" She called from beside the lightning rune bearer. "Could you and Borus carry him into the castle for me?"

"Are you actually asking?" Borus questioned in astonishment as he walked up beside the group.

She gave him a wry smile. "Well, it was phrased as a question."

Borus gave Percival a dirty look. "I blame this on you."

"I know." Percival smirked.

Borus scowled. Nash hazarded a smile at the dischord.

She raised an eyebrow and started tapping the remote impatiently. Borus' face turned white as a ghost at the unspoken threat and he hurriedly began to untie Geddoe. Percival joined him.

"Nash?"

He looked at Her, still smiling confidently.

She smiled mockingly. "Don't get too cocky. That could be hazardous for your health." Nash's face paled as She pointedly gazed at the remote in Her hands. She smiled. "That's a good lad now," She patted him reassuringly on the shoulder before turning back to the knights.

Both Knights hoisted Geddoe up and began moving towards the castle.

Ace looked stricken. "Oh no! What have I done? Boss?"

"You aren't just going to leave him behind are you?" Percival asked as they walked towards the front of the castle.

She sighed. "I suppose not…"

Nash turned to Her. "Hey! Maybe instead of plotting on how to trap people, you should be figuring out how to get Viki to stop teleporting us into the moat."

"Hey now," interjected Percival. "That's not entirely fair. Last time she teleported us to the top of the thirty foot wall surrounding the estate. That's a little closer than the moat."

Nash scowled at his comrade-in-arms, earning yet another smirk from the latter.

"You are just a pillar of support, Percy," She commented sarcastically and snorted. "Viki, I have some new coordinates for you."

Viki looked at her blankly.

"Could you teleport us here instead of our usual destination?"

Viki nodded. "Sure!"

"Wait!" She shouted.

_Blink._

"Hey! I finally got it right."

_At the Ranch_

"Ugh," Nash's mouth twisted in disgust.

"SOOOO…Caesar" Percival began, drawling out his name. "I assume this was your idea."

Caesar winced at the impending criticism.

"Good one," Sharon commented sarcastically.

"I see why you need a new strategist," commented a very wet Borus.

"Hey!" Caesar yelled.

She picked a plant out of Her hair. "Boris…Shut up."

None of them noticed the blonde haired archer watching them quietly from Her perimeter wall.

* * *

_So that's it for now. Please review! _  



	8. Plan 7: The Little Bishounen

_Thanks to my reviewers for their ideas and comments. I love them and live for them...sort of. Okay, I don't, but I still like getting them. Anyway, just so you all know I have plans for all the characters mentioned in my reviews. I haven't forgotten about them but there is an order to this madness so to speak. _

_  
Disclaimer: Konami owns Suikoden, not I. _

_

* * *

Chapter 7: The Little Bishounen_

The morning at Budehuc castle was fairly normal. Cecile was guarding the entrance. Merchants were bargaining. Thomas was walking the grounds pretending to be important. Geddoe's mercenary group (minus Jacque and Ace) were scratching their heads trying to figure out exactly when and how their captain disappeared…And an ever familiar Girl was walking around with an increasing number of former castle residents, once again on the prowl. The residents were not completely sure how her entourage kept growing but since they obviously followed Her willingly they didn't pay them that much attention.

"Are you certain he's considered bishounen?" Nash asked Her as they walked through Budehuc's courtyard.

She glared at him balefully. "Of course he's bishounen. He's just a young bishounen, that's all."

"Why can't we have Percival and Borus help us again?" Fred asked.

Rico gazed up at her beloved master. "Because they're on their own secret mission. Remember, Master?"

"Oh yeah," Fred scratched his head, remembering how excited the two knights had been upon receiving their assignment.

Caesar sighed. "And so this is what I'm left to work with." He gestured dramatically towards the Maximillian knight.

She smiled sarcastically. "I'm sure you're capable of meeting this challenge, Caesar."

"Of course I am! It's just that it would be much…easier if I had better resources to work with."

"Of course, Caesar." Nash rolled his eyes demeaningly at the strategist and promptly flashed a charming smile at Her while offering Her his arm.

"Don't push it Nash."

"Whatever do you mean?" He looked at Her mock-innocently before withdrawing his arm with a shrug.

Caesar snorted. "Some ladies' man."

Nash smiled slyly before quickly smoothing his features back to nonchalance. "I hope _this_ plan is better than your _last _one, Caesar. Geddoe was unconscious for three whole days."

"Shhh! Do you want the whole castle to mob us!" Caesar flushed. "Besides, that was a minor miscalculation. I assure you, _this _plan is flawless."

"I hope so," Nash retorted sarcastically. "I don't think it would be diplomatically wise for us to permanently disable the Flame Champion."

She smiled. "I don't think even Caesar's talented enough to take out someone who holds a true rune."

Nash looked at the strategist doubtfully and shrugged. "If you say so."

"I think what's more shocking is that what's left of his mercenary team hasn't been to the bar in three whole days."

"No way," Nash mocked. "Geddoe's team abstaining from alcohol? Impossible!"

"I think it's quite understandable," Caesar commented lazily. "I mean, their leader disappears out of thin air without warning…"

"I was being sarcastic," Nash sneered, interrupting the strategist.

Caesar drew himself up defensively.

She eyed the boys sideways and snorted. "Poor Hugo. With no one to moderate Aila's soda intake she's been on such a sugar high that she hasn't slept since his disappearance, Been driving Hugo crazy, or so I hear."

"Here's the fearless leader now!" Caesar exclaimed, as the very flamboyantly dressed Hugo stalked towards them, Sharon hot on his heels.

"YOU!" he shouted, causing the castle residents to turn towards him in surprise.

She looked from side to side then back at Hugo and pointed at Herself quizzically in affected surprise.

"I was just at the Tablet of the Stars and I'm down by 17 members!" He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. "And this informant tells me that you're to blame!"

"I can explain!" She broke in quickly. "See. I'm gathering a small army of bishounen."

Hugo looked at Her in puzzlement. Franz, who was guarding the door to the dungeons pretended not to eavesdrop on the conversation.

"And just let me say that I would be really honored if you would join my group."

"I'll join your group!" shouted Franz. "It's been really boring not having Fred and Futch to train with." He glared at Fred suspiciously. "You should have told me you joined a fighter's club!"

Fred looked at the angry mantor trainer in befuddlement.

She looked at Caesar doubtfully. "Umm Franz. I don't know how to tell you this, but my group….It's for bishounen only."

"I'm bishounen!" he shouted, his eyes narrowing determinedly. "Uhhh…What is a bishounen?"

She smiled dreamily. "Oh, you know. Young, hot men, usually with a somewhat pointy chin."

"I'm all that!" the mantor trainer shouted, daring them to argue.

"Well," She looked at Caesar, who seemed very amused at Her discomfiture. "Um. We'll all have to take a vote on it back at my mansion and then I'll come back here and tell you if you got in."

Franz glared at them all suspiciously. "Of course I'll get in. Both of my training partners are part of your group, aren't they? I heard about Futch and Bright. Of course, I'll have to bring my Ruby too."

"Hey guys!" Hugo was staring at them all, annoyed at being ignored. "All I want…is my Stars back."

Franz reluctantly went back to his post as She shot a bemused glance at Her strategist, who was fingering his chin thoughtfully.

"We might be able to arrange that," Caesar drawled. "But you have to give us something in return."

"What! Do you know who you're talking to! I'm…"

"I know who you are," Caesar interrupted. "The question is…do you remember who I am? I believe that would be the best strategist of your Fire Bringer army. I assure you that shouting will get you nowhere."

"Why you…" Hugo fingered his knife.

Caesar lazily turned to Her. "I think we should go now. He's _obviously_ not ready to listen." He turned back to Hugo. "Whenever you're ready to negotiate…"

"Wait! Wait!" Hugo shouted, as the group started to leave. "All right, all right. I'm listening." He tightened his lips angrily.

Caesar smiled. "We'll give you your stars back…"

"What?" She cried. "Over my cold, dead body!"

"If you'll come with us," Caesar finished calmly.

Hugo's eyes narrowed in refusal.

"Only temporarily of course," Caesar smiled smugly.

She tapped Her foot in silent fury, causing Her bishounen to take a wary step away from Her.

"I don't know," Hugo glanced at Her guardedly.

"The Captain of the Zexen Knights will be there," Caesar commented enticingly. "Maybe she'll finally agree to give you that one-on-one duel you've been aching to have...I have a wonderful training arena."

The Karayan scratched the back of his neck uncertainly. "Chris'll be there?"

Caesar nodded.

"I suppose if it's only temporary…" His eyes narrowed again. "How long are we talking about here?"

She looked at Caesar pointedly. "Oh let's see…" he muttered under his breath. "It'll take Salome a couple of seconds to realize he's lost track of Chris and then a day or so to realize he doesn't know where the Flame Champion is. Then he's got to mass the army…" He counted quickly on his fingers. Nash smirked.

"Making sure they're all there Caesar?" Nash remarked snidely.

"D...Did you just say 'mass the army'?" Hugo looked a bit alarmed.

Caesar looked up at Hugo and smiled. "Well, there'll be some minor details he'll need to work out. I'd say we'll need you for about a week, tops."

Hugo looked around uncomfortably. "Maybe I'd better ask…"

Just then, Percival and Borus came around the corner of the castle, looking very pleased with themselves, their Captain right behind them. "Mission accomplished," Percival gloated. He looked about ready to burst with joy.

"Goood." She rolled Her eyes before directing an accepting look at Chris. "Hello again."

Hugo's eyes turned into slits as he stared at the arch enemy of his tribe. "Chris," he snarled.

The White Maiden smiled hesitantly. "H...hello." She looked at Her Knights in alarm. "This isn't going to involve me getting tied to a chair again, is it?"

"Of course not," She began, and noticed the devilish gleam in Sharon's eye. "Well, not here anyway. At the ranch, it's everyone for them self." She shrugged and smiled, while Chris looked even more worried.

"Don't worry, Lady Chris," Borus interjected. "I'll keep you safe."

Nash raised an eyebrow and snorted. "Borus you can't even protect yourself. How…"

"Why you...!" Borus put a hand on the hilt of his sword, or at least what would have been the hilt of the sword had She not disarmed him before coming to the castle. Percival hovered over his Captain protectively.

Caesar scoffed derisively. "Gentlemen, if we could focus please…"

Nash gave the knights a smug smirk while Borus crossed his arms defiantly, still glaring daggers at Nash. Percival snorted but slightly backed off the lady knight.

"All right," Hugo broke in. "I've decided to come with you after all. When do we leave?"

Caesar flashed a triumphant smile at Her. "That would be now," he quickly ushered the surprised boy to the blinking mirror, forcing the rest of the group into a fast trot to keep up. "The usual Viki!" he said in a rush.

With an empty smile and nod, the teleportress teleported the crew to the familiar wetness that was the moat.

"This is where you live?" Hugo looked decidedlu unimpressed.

"Not exactly," She couldn't quite keep the bitterness out of Her voice as She picked Herself out of the muck and trudged to the gate of the ranch.


	9. Plan 8: Another Strategist

_So here's the culmination resulting from the last couple chapters. I told you there was a reason to this madness. FYI, if I don't receive any reviews for this chapter I'll assume interest has waned and act accordingly. It seems a shame though, as I just finished Yuber's chapter. He's so cute when he's brandishing weapons!  
_

_Disclaimer: Really now. If I owned Suikoden do you think I'd be suffering through college classes? _

_

* * *

_

_Chapter 8: Another Strategist_

"M...My Lady?" Rico woke Her from a peaceful slumber exactly three days after the abduction of Hugo.

"Yes?" She responded groggily.

"T...There's an army marching towards the gate…"

"Oh good!" She exclaimed, leaping out of bed and throwing on some decent clothes. She rushed out into the hallway, Rico hard pressed to keep up. "Who's awake?"

She stopped with a start as She reached the entrance to the building and was greeted by the sight every one of Her uneasy bishounen ready at arms…except for Caesar of course, who didn't need a visible weapon to cause damage.

"I hope, for your sake, that you have a really good plan." Percival's commented warily.

"Why's the army even here?" asked Hugo.

"For us," Chris sighed.

"Don't worry Lady Chris. I'll protect you," Borus straightened proudly.

"Who's going to protect you?" Nash mocked.

Borus' face turned rosy red as he suddenly lunged at the spy. "Why you…"

Futch, who had been standing in Borus' line of fire, deftly stepped to the side. "I'm going to check on Bright. Come on Sharon."

"indecent…"

"Borus!" Chris yelled in dismay, as the dragon knight and apprentice exited the scene.

"dishonest…"

She approached Caesar and bent down to whisper in his ear. "Everything's under control?"

"dirty…"

He nodded. "As well as can be."

"unsavory…"

"Geddoe's still in the iron room under Jacques' surveillance."

"scoundrel."

She nodded, Her eyes gleaming with excitement. "Come on Borus! Stop messing around."

"ME?" Borus protested, sitting on Nash with both hands on the spy's collar. "What about him?"

"He's coming too," She waved a hand at them distractedly.

Borus sighed in frustration as Percival offered him a hand.

"Come on Sir Lancelot." Percival rolled his eyes as pulled his friend to his feet.

"Jealous Percy?" She taunted.

His eyebrow jumped to his forehead. "You wish…and don't call me that."

She chuckled before clapping the strategist companionably on the shoulder. "Come on Caesar! Now's the chance to prove your worth!"

Caesar grimaced but followed Her without hesitation into the courtyard, the rest of the bishounen hot on Her heels. The strategist glanced back and suddenly scowled in a rare show of seriousness. "Rico!"

Rico snapped to attention. "Y…Yes sir?"

"Take Hugo back inside!" He turned to the boy. "It is imperative for the success of the mission that you _not_ be present."

Hugo gave him a befuddled look but allowed Rico to lead him back into the building.

"Stay here," She commanded the group as She easily scaled the 30-foot wall surrounding the castle.

Nash looked at the wall cynically. "You can't tell me that Caesar is going to climb that wall on his o-." He stopped as Watari deftly transported the strategist to the top of the imposing structure. Nash smirked before lazily leaning against the wall. "So She's got the strategist and the ninja for Her main defense…This could be interesting."

And so they sat on the wall, the Girl and ninja on one side of the gate and the strategist on the other, facing the entire army of Firebringer who had just stopped at the gate.

"Hi-ho Salome. You're late," shouted the cocky Caesar from his perch. "Have trouble following the map I had Ace deliver to you?"

"You call this a map?" Lucia deliberately sneered while turning the map around and squinting at it. "How diluted the Silverberg blood has become if this is all you can manage."

Caesar puffed himself up at the taunt. "At least _I _didn't allow my Commander-in-Chief…nay three of my top Commander-in-Chiefs, to be kidnapped by some psycho stranger."

She glared at Her strategist while he smiled smugly at the resulting chaos his comment created within the army.

Nash turned to a smirking Percival with a raised eyebrow. "Not bad."

"Caesar," Salome interrupted calmly, holding up a hand for silence. "Perhaps you would be so kind as to inform me why you've kidnapped not only our two top commanders but also the Flame Champion himself?"

"Of course, my dear Salome," Caesar replied, still looking smug. "I thought you would never ask."

Salome's lips tightened fractionally at the other strategist's impudence.

"Oh, come now Salome…It's not like you're missing any important events, seeing as we have the only characters capable of furthering the plot."

Salome twitched.

"We want something from you…" Caesar began.

Lucia's raised her eyebrows with interest. "What could we possibly have of value to you that you haven't already captured?"

"Well…" Caesar's eyes brightened with mischief. "You see, it's something you don't actually have…as of yet."

"We don't need to negotiate with you!" Dupa shouted. "We sent our ninja into your _impenetrable fortress _to get us the Flame Champion back. She should be back any second now!" Just then, Ayame popped up from behind the wall next to Caesar and shot a death glare in Watari's direction.

Salome's face paled. "There's two things you need to remember about ninjas," Caesar remarked. "One," he held up a finger. "The ninja first and foremost works for himself...or herself, in this case." He paused. "And two," he held up another finger, "if rule number one doesn't apply, he…or she works for the highest bidder." His smile broadened. "It just so happens we not only have something Ayame wants, but we also have the potch to pay her."

"What kind of game are you playing, Caesar?" Salome asked with narrowed eyes.

Caesar gave a dramatic sigh before answering. "We need your resources to help us capture someone. In exchange for this person we will give you back your commanders."

"And how do we know we can trust you!" shouted Dupa, earning encouraging cries from the army.

Caesar grinned. "As a gesture of good faith, we'll return the Captain of the Zexen Knights to you."

Borus gave a strangled cry from behind the wall.

Salome hesitated. "Who is it that you want?"

"Ah. Right to the point. I like that."

"I think we should just send the mantor trainers after them!" Dupa shouted, earning another ragged cheer from the army.

Caesar raised his eyebrows at Her and nodded slightly.

"Franz!" She called, catching the mantor trainer's attention. "So we all took a vote and…"

Franz fidgeted eagerly.

"You're in."

The mantor Commander's eyes widened in astonishment before he broke out into a huge grin and flew Ruby up to the top of the wall. "You won't regret this! I'll be the best bishounen ever!" he excitedly exclaimed before taking his mantor further into the ranch.

"Franz!" Iku shouted worriedly as She rushed to the gate and let herself in.

The unexpected loss of their Commander caused the rest of the mantor trainers to mill around in confusion before falling back.

Caesar glanced at Salome with feigned curiosity. "What mantor trainers?"

Salome sighed and closed his eyes. "Dupa. Might I suggest that you stop volunteering our forces to storm the gate before they have all converted to the other side."

Dupa's eyebrow twitched before he angrily stalked towards the back of the troops.

Salome sat quietly on his warhorse a moment longer before once again meeting Caesar's gaze. "I'm listening."

Caesar grinned.

"How long does it take to traverse across the continent, pick up one strategist and come back again?" She asked for the umpteenth time while soaking luxuriously in the hot tub.

Caesar sighed from an adjacent hot tub. "I told you…even using teleportation…or perhaps I should say, especially because they are using Viki to teleport an entire army not only through space but also through time, it's going to take a few days." He paused, thoughtfully. "They may arrive later today barring any significant complications."

"Miss, miss!" Rico came running up to Her, eyes glowing. "The army's back!"

Both Caesar and She leapt out their respective hot tubs, quickly donned t-shirts and shorts over their swimsuits, and dashed toward the ranch's gate. The rest of Her bishounen plus Geddoe were already there, waiting anxiously.

She flung the gate open while assuming an air of dignity as She walked towards the current head strategist of the Fire bringer army, Her bishounen and captives right behind.

"As you can see," Caesar gestured behind him at Geddoe and Hugo. "We are prepared to keep our side of the bargain."

Salome nodded and signaled two soldiers to bring forward a figure cloaked in black.

"Shu?" She asked, tentatively.

The figure removed his hood to reveal long black hair pulled back in a ponytail. He raised his eyebrows in appreciation as he took in the entirety of Her establishment.  
"Impressive."

She grinned broadly, pleased. "Thank you."

Shu glanced wryly at the army still assembled behind him. "Salome has informed me in no uncertain terms that this is my new place of residence."

She nodded slowly. "For a while at least."

He nodded in resigned acceptance. "I see. And what are your terms?"

"You will act as my ta…er…second tactician," She corrected Herself as Caesar's eyes suddenly assumed an expression of shock as if he just realized that he instigated the capture of a competitor. "And you will also be responsible for aiding me in trading for supplies. Barts grows a lot of our food here, but there are some other things we are in regular in need of."

"Hm." He smiled thoughtfully. It was a better arrangement than he had anticipated. "As my choices are currently extremely limited I graciously accept your offer." He shook Her hand to seal the bargain.

"Excellent!" Her grin became slightly devious.

Salome impatiently cleared his throat. "As much as I enjoy your company, I would appreciate it if you return the remainder of our commanders to us so we can be on our way. We _are_ still fighting a war, after all," Salome reminded her.

"Is that what you call this?" Shu stated more than asked.

She grinned and signaled for the two prisoners to be returned to the Firebringer army.

Geddoe's shoulders slumped in relief as he was finally reunited with his mercenary team.

"Boss! Are you okay?" Ace hovered near his captain in concern.

"I bet he would be better if you hadn't gotten him trapped!" Joker countered.

"Hey! That wasn't my fault!" Ace retorted. "I was framed!"

"A fine excuse! What could She possibly have framed _you_ for?" Joker shouted.

"None of your business!" Ace screamed.

"Hey guys?" Aila interrupted the bickering pair. "Where's Jacques?"

The mercenary group looked at each other wordlessly.

"I thought he was out catching a rabbit or something." Joker scratched his head.

"He's in there," Geddoe shuddered as he gestured towards the ranch.

"He's crossed over to the other side!" Aila shouted in indignation. "Jacques!" she shouted, while running to the entrance of the ranch. The mercenary group stared at the girl soundlessly as she glanced at the closed gate before proceeding to effortlessly scale the wall.

"You know, I could've just opened the…Oh never mind," She shrugged.

Hugo skillfully mounted the grassland horse Lucia had ready for him and gave his mom a reassuring smile.

"You okay?" She whispered.

He looked bewildered. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

Salome turned the army around with a sigh and pointed them in the general direction of Budehuc castle. He made it three paces before he turned around to look at Her once again. "Next time you need something…just ask."

"No problem." She replied before gleefully ushering Shu into the ranch.

* * *

_:gets down on hands and knees: __Not that I'm begging but please review!_


	10. Plan 9: Caesar's Strategy

_Author's Note: My roommate and I have come to the conclusion that writing fan fiction gives us a healthy and acceptable outlet to practice our sadism. If you find yourself laughing along with my fic, congratulations! You are a sadist too!_

_To my anonymous reviewer who suggested I catch Watari: I'm not going to write a chapter just for him. I can't conceive that a ninja of his skill could be captured. After all, Ayame was chasing him for how many years and it was Watari that eventually chose to meet up with her to settle the score. However, I will try to include his character more in my subsequent chapters. Hopefully, that's an acceptable compromise. :)_

_Boy, are you guys getting spoiled with this chapter...3,435 words and appearances by both Albert and Yuber. Thanks for all the kind reviews. I see that people are still reading the story so I will definitely continue to post. Thank you for your input and suggestions._

_Disclaimer: Suikoden and all the characters relating to the game are not mine. If it did, the bishounen would be my personal playthings.

* * *

__  
_

_Chapter 7: The King of Bishounen: Second Attempt_

The morning after Her new strategist had joined Her team She woke up earlier than usual, excited at the prospect of inspecting Her new ware. She searched the ranch high and low but to her dismay, was unable to find either Her new strategist or Her old one. As a result, She entered the breakfast room in what can only be described as a verifiable tizzy, causing Her bishounen to cast wary glances in Her direction. Only Franz seemed unaffected, but then, he was unfamiliar with Her methods of tor…er…obtaining information.

"Has anyone seen my strategists?" She glared at each and every one of Her bishounen as if each was personally responsible for the apparent disappearance of said persons. The bishounen fidgeted nervously under Her intense gaze.

"Why do you need _them_?" Fred asked, not even glancing up at Her. Rico cautiously whispered something in her master's ear, causing a puzzled expression to appear in his eyes.

Her lip curled into a sneer and She let out a disparaging sigh before closing Her eyes and softly counting to ten. Watari immediately vanished, Ayame melting into the shadows behind him. Franz merely looked up from his breakfast with a mildly curious expression, Iku sitting nervously beside him. Jacques calmly stood up and quietly walked out of the breakfast hall, Aila hot on his heels.

"Jacques? What's going on? Why are we leaving?" she naively questioned the archer as they made their exit.

Percival and Nash glanced at Her in bemusement, while Borus shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"I'd better not be blamed for this," he mumbled, keeping his eyes firmly on his plate.

Futch carefully stood up from his chair. While he wasn't in any danger, he didn't want to be around to witness the impending explosion either. "I'm going to check on Bright…Sharon?" he glanced down at the perky girl, his expression clearly conveying that he wanted her to follow him.

"Later Futch," she dismissed him flippantly, mouth full, purposefully ignoring his signal. He sighed disparingly and headed outside.

"Wise man," Percival smirked wryly, eyes following the retreating figure of the dragon knight.

"Not even 24 hours and you've already _lost_ your new strategist?" Nash mocked.

Her eyes narrowed into lethal slits. "What was that Nash?"

Percival grimaced. "Foolish man."

He gave Her a nonchalant shrug before turning his attention back to his breakfast.

Rico, on the other hand, looked up at Her warmly, clearly wanting to redeem Fred for his earlier question. "Sorry m'lady. They haven't been in here all morning."

"They weren't at our dawn training session either," Fred remarked.

She slumped down in the nearest chair and began massaging Her temples. "Sharon…" She suddenly cast a warning glance at the dragon knight apprentice, who flashed a wide-eyed, innocent smile back at Her. "You seem to know an inordinate amount of information in relation to what goes on around here."

"Hmmm." The girl cocked her head as if in thought before shrugging. "Nope. Haven't seen 'em."

She sighed in dismay.

The apprentice's eyes gleamed in mischief. "Although…Borus..."

Borus' eyes widened in fear.

"Good morning Shu," Percival interrupted as the strategist entered the room, saving his friend from certain pain. "How was your first night here?" Percival asked, following his question with a smirk.

"Shu, I'm not done with you yet!" a squeaky voice shouted before the other strategist could answer. "Come back here and finish what you started!"

The bishounen glanced at each other with raised eyebrows.

She looked at Shu in horror as a disheveled Caesar barreled through the door.

"Hmmm," Percival thumbed his chin in amusement. "Not bad, I see."

"What's going on?" She glowered at each of the strategists.

Shu, in a rare show of emotion, threw a small notebook down in front of her. "This is how we're going to catch Albert."

"His strategy will never work…as I have been trying to tell him all night," Caesar crossed his arms and glared daggers at his apparent competition.

Shu closed his eyes as he tried to gather what was left of his shredded patience. The resulting look he directed at Her was one of stoic professionalism. "I was speculating on any weaknesses Albert may have that we could exploit. I simply asked Caesar if Albert had ever exhibited any hint of claustrophobia."

Caesar scoffed. "And as I told you before, even if he had, he is specifically trained to never show any fear in any situation."

"Caesar," Shu started, ignoring the other strategist, "decided that my inquiry merited an all night…discussion," his eyes narrowed fractionally, "of how any strategy I developed in relation to catching his brother would be ultimately doomed to failure."

Even Borus winced at the implied agony the new strategist had gone through.

"You had to listen to Caesar's whining all night?" Nash grimaced. "That's what you call breaking him in quick."

"Indeed," She commented dangerously, turning to Caesar. "Are the tasks I'm giving you not challenging enough, Caesar?"

The red-haired boy flushed. "I..." He drew himself up with dignity. "I was under the impression that this project superceded the rest of my assignments."

She smiled, impressed at his comeback. "And you're absolutely right…sort of. It is the most important assignment."

Shu gave Her a deadpan look. "I assure you I am fully capable of handling this without outside interference…But you already know that or you wouldn't have wanted my assistance."

She gave Shu a conspiratorial wink before continuing. "As I was saying before I was interrupted…"

Shu barely refrained from rolling his eyes.

"This is the most important assignment."

Caesar flashed a smug smile at the other strategist.

"But it is not your assignment."

Shu's mouth quirked in a half smile before he quickly smoothed his features.

Caesar's temper snapped. "You didn't even give me a chance!" he cried in outrage.

"Caesar, I fully realize your limitations. You are way too biased against your brother to devise a successful scheme to trap him."

Caesar scowled.

"Not to mention, not talented enough," Nash quipped.

"Why you..." Caesar reddened and would've lunged for the spy had She not put Her hand on his arm..

She sighed. "The point is, we're going to all have to work synchronously if we're going to catch Albert, and that requires a more experienced strategist." She grinned at Shu, who assumed an unconcerned pose.

"I'm not helping you any more unless you bring Lady Chris back here," Borus suddenly stated. Nash snorted, shaking his head while Percival smiled in amusement.

She blinked at the disgruntled knight's request. "Borus," She held back an amused smile. "I know _you_ live in Lady Chris Land but the rest of us live here, in Suikoland, so perhaps you could tell us where that comment came from."

"What do you mean where it came from? I think she should live here!"

"Delusional," Percival coughed.

She met Borus' rebellious gaze with affected remorse. "I'm sorry Borus. Lady Chris is not allowed here any more."

"W…What? Borus shouted in disbelief. "Why not?"

"I consider her to be a severe threat," She continued, in an even tone of voice.

"B…but…"

"You wouldn't want me to have to permanently eliminate her, would you?"

Borus gasped. "You wouldn't…"

"I would."

"N…no more Lady Chris?" The knight trailed off rather piteously.

"You should feel honored that I consider the Lady Knight competition."

The knight glowered at Her a moment, unable to continue his argument lest he insult his idol's honor and prowess. He settled for sulking and moodily stabbed the scrambled eggs still on his plate.

"I can see why the all-powerful bishounen remains elusive," Shu commented derisively before snatching his notebook and sauntering away. "If Caesar thinks he can devise a plan clever enough to capture his brother, far be it from me to stand in his way."

Silence filled the room for a moment, before Nash finally spoke up.

"Does anyone else think this could go really, really bad?"

All eyes turned to the strategist still in the room who put in hands together with a child-like pleasure before addressing them. "So, who's up for a trip to Crystal Valley?"

And so it came to be that the troop of bishounen, their attendants and She came to be at the "One Temple" in Crystal Valley, disguised as Harmonian "second-class" citizens.

Caesar stared thoughtfully at the Temple. "If my sources are correct, Albert should be in here."

"Of course he's in here," She rolled her eyes. "It's the biggest library in the world."

"Caesar. Do you really think it wise to confront Albert at his home base?" Percival asked while glancing guardedly at his surroundings.

"Of course! It's the one thing he won't expect."

"That's because it's stupid," Borus countered.

"I don't know what you're talking about. The best way to fight evil is to confront it on its own ground." Fred puffed his chest out, proudly.

Nash groaned. "Now I _know_ this is a bad idea."

She looked at the bishounen in amusement. "Well, there's nothing left for it now but to check it out."

She led the way into the temple, Caesar close behind, with the rest of the bishounen cringing behind them. Well, except Watari, that is, who was calmly walking beside Her.

"Come on guys! I've gotten us this far," Caesar encouraged them as they walked into the library.

"I could've done this," Percival murmured.

"What was that?" Caesar snapped.

"I _said_, lead on, O' fearless one."

"I still say this is a bad idea," Borus mumbled.

"That's because you're the one most likely to get hurt," Sharon smirked.

Borus directed a fierce scowl at the miniature dragon knight. "Why does Futch get to stay outside?"

"So at least one of us will be alive after this is all over," Nash grumbled.

She snorted. "He's our emergency escape plan."

"Shhh," Ceasar motioned for them to be quiet. "The element of surprise is essential for the success of the mission."

"It raises our chances from none to slim?" Nash raised a disdainful eyebrow. "I think we should've sent the ninja in to snatch Albert. Surely he couldn't evade that."

"There are...certain things he could've subjugated Watari to that caused me to deem the situation too dangerous for Watari to handle on his own."

"The demon," Percival breathed.

The group froze, not having considered the possibility of Albert using the demon as retaliation against their plan.

"..." Watari replied, still unconcerned.

"Uhhh, guys?" Fred broke in.

"You think so?" Nash continued, ignoring Fred. "I don't know...I don't think even you have the skills to fight a 432 year old demon."

"How do you know he's 432?" Percival inquired.

"She told me."

"Guys..." Fred became more insistent.

"How does She know," Borus interjected.

"I don't know. Maybe you should ask Her."

"Guys!"

"What Fred?" the agitated bishounen collectively asked.

"Our strategist..."

Sure enough, Caesar and She were currently ignoring the group and had continued up the steps without them. The bishounen scurried to catch up with their leaders as they continued to climb endless flights of stairs to one of the top floors of the library. Finally Caesar stopped. "Ah. Just as I remember. Most of the important books are on this level."

"Indeed," Percival commented as they began to walk amongst the books. "War history, battle tactics, heroes of war, famous strategists…Wait a minute! Strategic failures!"

"Uhhh, guys?" Fred started.

"I've got a new one to add to that book," Nash smirked.

Percival winced. "That's definitely an omen. Caesar…"

"Uhhh...guys?" Fred interrupted again.

"What is it this time Fred!" Borus snarled.

"Where'd She go?" The group paused. Unbeknownst to them, She had disappeared upon reaching the level, along with Watari.

"She probably doesn't want to get caught in the line of fire," Nash mumbled.

"Can you blame Her?" Percival glanced around warily. "Caesar, don't you think we should…"

But the strategist was blissfully ignoring the group he was leading into imminent danger and was instead talking to himself. "Too biased. Hmph. I'll show them. Let's see…If I was Albert I would probably be studying somewhere around…"

"Here?" a familiar voice arrogantly finished the sentence, as the group rounded a corner.

Caesar gasped as he came face to face with his arch nemesis.

"Not again," Sharon groaned.

"Hello Albert. What a surprise to run into you here." Caesar glared daggers at the other strategist.

"A surprise for you perhaps," Albert smirked contemptuously at his little brother. "But I don't see your Master here. Did She suddenly lose faith in her undefeatable squad? Or perhaps She's doubtful of Her strategist's abilities." Caesar's face turned red and puffed up as he tried to think of a clever retort.

"Sorry I'm late." Her voice broke in, saving Caesar from a reply. Watari and She walked up behind the boys, smirking knowingly. "I just wanted to check out a few books." She held up Her bulging knapsack to prove Her alibi. "What?" She shrugged as the bishounen's eyes rested on Her before turning Her attention to a more important figure. "So we meet again." She tried and failed to keep Her eyes from glittering.

The strategist's eyebrow twitched as he directed his haughty gaze at Her.

"Pity it's not under more pleasant terms," She continued, settling a predatory gaze on Albert.

"Pity," he responded, only his intense training keeping him from taking a step backwards.

"I see you're more prepared for our visit this time," She continued silkily, ignoring Caesar's scowls.

At this statement, Albert completely recovered his confidence, and smugly made his reply. "It seems that not all of your subjects are as loyal as you perceive them to be."

She started in surprise. "Wha.."

Albert smirked arrogantly. "I received an anonymous tip yesterday stating a Girl and Her 'pets' were traveling to Crystal Valley on a mission to detain an 'important person'. I assume that no one but your closest allies were informed of your plans."

Caesar gasped as Her face paled at the implication. The rest of the bishounen and co. shifted uneasily behind them, wondering which one of them was the traitor.

"P…pets?" Borus snarled indignantly. Just then, the demon called Yuber sauntered up behind the strategist

Percival recovered almost immediately. "She's not the only one to use 'pets' for Her dirty work."

"I am _not_ a pet," Borus growled, drawing his sword.

Albert chuckled humorlessly, never taking his eyes off his little brother. "Yes. Well, _my_ 'pet' is not so domesticated as this group here. Why, he hasn't killed anyone in days. I suspect you'll settle his bloodlust…for now."

Yuber flashed a feral smile at the group, causing everyone (with the exception of Watari and Her) to take an involuntary step backwards.

"Domesticated," Fred frowned. "Oh, I get it. Because only tame animals are domesticated." He chuckled, while the rest of the group stared at him in astonishment. Even Albert experienced a brief moment of shock before he recovered his stoic expression. Watari vaulted to the top of a bookshelf, preparing for the fight.

"I don't suppose we could just offer him a sacrifice?" Nash offered. "Caesar and Fred for us?"

"Yuber?" the strategist nonchalantly flicked his hand up before coolly walking away from the group.

She stared longingly at the retreating figure and sighed as he disappeared around the corner.

"I can't believe you let yourself be controlled by such an insignificant human!" Caesar shouted at the slowly advancing demon.

Yuber stopped directly in front of Caesar and stared the little strategist down, causing the redhead's eyes to glisten with fear. "Insignificant. Do you really think so?" The demon shrugged. "He certainly gives me enough excuses to sate my bloodlust." He traced his sword along Caesar's neck.

"Well that worked." Nash glanced at Her hopefully. "I assume you have a backup plan."

Watari faded in to the background.

"So, who wants to fight the bloodthirsty demon?" She asked, backing away slowly.

"I volunteer Borus," Sharon shouted before running the other direction.

Fred drew his sword. "Have no fear! _I_ will vanquish the demon."

"Not today Fred. Retreat!" She shouted, pulling the strategist along with Her. The bishounen rapidly followed their leader.

"I suppose I could make this interesting and give you a little head start," the demon unnervingly scraped his swords together. "One…two…"

"Caesar!" Percival shouted, frantically as they ran towards the stairwell. "Didn't you devise some sort of a plan to counter this?"

"Ten! Ready or not here I come!" The group heard the demon shout before he came flashing towards them.

"Uhhh…sort of." Caesar hurriedly retrieved a gun-like contraption from pocket, pointed it behind him and shot, setting a net around the now charging demon.

"A net?" Sharon yelled. "The best you could come up with was a net?"

"Oh. That'll work," Nash's sarcasm cut through the air.

"I don't see you coming up with any better ideas!" the strategist snarled.

"That's because _I'm _not the strategist," Nash retorted, glaring at Caesar.

"Don't worry," She reassured the group. "My _other_ strategist did account for this possibility."

"_Other _strategist!" Caesar wailed.

"You mean to say that you conspired with Shu behind Caesar's back?" Percival gasped in feigned shock.

"Do I look stupid?" She retorted.

Nash smirked.

"Don't answer that." She warned.

Percival cautiously tapped her shoulder. "Might I remind you all that we have a very angry demon right behind us, whose only reason for not killing us is because he is trapped in a net which is rapidly being slashed into tiny pieces."

"Oh yeah." She quickly brought Her watch to her mouth. "Futch. Code D."

"Are you talking to your watch? How's it going to help us!" Borus shouted.

"Just a second, Borus." She gestured for them all to look towards the nearby window where Futch and Bright suddenly appeared. "Get down!" She shouted, as the dragon sneezed, projecting a flame towards the demon.

"He missed," Borus stated in a monotone.

"How is that possible!" Caesar shouted. "The target was right in front him!" Caesar's voice ceased as She quickly put her hand in the air and began to chant. To the astonishment of the bishounen (and Yuber), the net burst into flames. She then put her other hand in the air, and mumbled another incantation, this one causing the demon to freeze.

"That's going to wreak havoc on his thermoregulatory system," She smirked.

"His what?" Borus

"He's not going to be happy when he unthaws," Sharon clarified.

"Oh, I get it!" Fred shouted. "D for demon!"

The group stared at the Maximillian knight blankly. "I think I liked him better when he completely clueless," Nash remarked.

"Never mind that," Percival retorted, glaring at Her accusingly. "You have a fire and water rune?"

"Uh-huh." She nodded uncomfortably.

His eyes grew wary. "Please, tell me you don't have one affixed to your forehead."

She smirked.

"Uh guys," Caesar tugged on Her shirt. "I think our best course of action here would be a tactical retreat, as the dragon's fire along with Your Explosion spell has very effectively set the library on fire."

"So it has. How 'bout that." Her amused smile quickly turned to a worried frown. "Oh no! The books! Oh well. Hopefully they weren't too important."

Caesar turned on her. "Oh, no," he began sarcastically. "There's only some of the rarest war strategy books on this level."

"Nothing too important then," Nash commented. Caesar scowled.

"I saved some of them," She adjusted the knapsack on Her back. "Someone grab Yuber before he unthaws. We can use the impending chaos to escape."

"Yeah. I'm sure no one will notice us carrying a frozen body through the library," Percival snorted, but went over and picked up the demon.

"Borus. Go help him." She ordered.

"Why do I always get stuck with the manual labor?" he complained.

"Because it's fun," She grinned. "Now go."

Borus grumbled defiantly, but went to help his comrade.

Surprisingly, the team made it through the library with little fuss, except for the people screaming and running towards the emergency exits, that is.

When they reached the city limits the boys unceremoniously dumped the demon's still frozen body on the ground.

"Sorry about back there." Futch scratched the back of his neck nervously. "He's had a cold this week and…"

"He's not going to stay like that for long," Percival reminded Her, indicating the demon.

Nash glanced at Yuber doubtfully. "What're you going to do with him once you get him back at the ranch? Your containment systems are impressive but…"

"Oh don't worry about that," She gave the frozen demon a grin evil enough to rival his own. "I have _plans_ for this demon."

* * *

_Okay, so I'm not actually keeping Yuber but am giving him to my good friend Psycholeopard. We collaborated on the next chapter entitled "Yuber's Education." Would you guys like me to include it in the story, post it as a separate mini-story or not post it at all. It's a little violent, but that goes without saying since we're dealing with Yuber. Also, I could have Yuber make appearances in my later chapters. Would you like that or should I just keep him out of this after this chapter? Let me know what you think. _  



	11. Sidequest 2: Yuber's Education

_Sorry for the long wait. School kept me busy for a while and then I just wasn't in a fan fiction mood. Virtual sweets to all my reviewers. Without you guys I doubt I would've been motivated enough to get this far in the story. And in case you're wondering I did decide to have Yuber tag along with Her on the next chapter, so thanks for all the suggestions pertaining to that topic. Anyway, this is what happens when you let two obsessive, sadistic fan fiction writers collaberate on a story such as this.. Enjoy!  
_

_ Disclaimer: I don't own Suikoden, the Carebears or any characters relating to those subjects so don't sue me.

* * *

_

_  
Sidequest 2: Yuber's Education_

"Back already?" Shu peered over his sunglasses at the group, his gaze taking in the unconscious demon. Franz's eyes widened as he saw what the group brought home with them.

"How dare you!" Caesar shouted, lunging at Shu. "You…"

"…managed to devise a scheme to counteract _your_ inevitable failure." Shu coolly responded.

"That was harsh." Nash nodded approvingly at the new strategist as Caesar sputtered in indignation.

"You have the potential to be a very good strategist," Shu continued. "But, as She pointed out earlier, you are too close to the subject to rationally consider all possibilities." He sighed. "My presence here does not help, because you perceive me as a threat and are currently unequipped to handle my superior talent."

Caesar opened his mouth and promptly closed it before stomping back towards the group.

"So I suppose you already have accommodations for our new 'guest' prepared," he sneered.

"Indeed," Shu responded easily. "Although _I _am not the person who is preparing the...accomodations."

Her malicious grin caused the bishounen to cast cautious glances at one another.

"Before you continue on, let me put this on the demon." Shu walked over to limp form in Percival's arms and snapped a familiar collar around his neck.

"That's the same collar She made Geddoe wear!" Borus exclaimed.

"I took the liberty of making some improvements on it so that whenever the wearer performs magic it inflicts the spell on that person…or shall I say, entity."

"Perfect." She rubbed her hands conspiratorially together. Caesar moodily kicked at the grass.

"H…hey," Percival shifted anxiously as the demon rustled in his arms.

"This way," She quickly ushered the bishounen into the mansion. "You stay here Franz," She ordered as She led the rest of the group through a secret door hidden by a bookcase.

"Why do I have to stay here?"

"Because you aren't ready to bear witness to what's gonna happen down here," She shouted as the group picked their way down a winding staircase.

"That's it. I'm outta here," She caught Borus' hand as he tried to rush back up the stairs.

"I don't think so Borus," She smiled humorlessly as they reached the bottom of the staircase to a long, dank, gloomy hallway of iron doors.

"This can't be good," Borus muttered.

"It's kinda like a dungeon," Sharon grinned.

Nash snorted. "Yeah. Except there's no bars. Only solid concrete." He emphasized his point by rapping on the solid wall.

"Which door?" Percival questioned, as the demon stirred again.

In answer, She quickly pulled out a ring holding dozens of keys and faced the first door on the right.

Nash groaned. "Can I wait upstairs?"

She wordlessly picked out a key and put it in the lock. To the bishounen's surprise there was a satisfying click as the door creaked open. They all huddled as close behind her as possible as they entered the pitch black room.

"I hope there's a light switch in here," whimpered Borus.

"Afraid of the dark?" mocked Nash.

"You should be." A menacing voice floated to the ears of the bishounen, causing the hairs on their necks to stand on end.

"That's it! You're not stoppin' me this time!" shouted Borus, before hightailing it towards the door. He would've made it, but at the last second the door slammed shut. Borus careened into said door with a sickening thud and collapsed to the ground.

"Borus…" Percival called out tentatively, not able to see what happened to his comrade.

"Here we go," a voice that sounded like Sharon's came out of the darkness as the click of the light switch was finally heard. The lights flickered a few times before stabilizing into solid beams. The square room had a distinct psychiatric ward feel. There were lumps of something grouped along the far wall, covered in white sheets. The walls were all gray stone except for the wall on the right. That wall had been painted a disturbing shade of blood red, causing the bishounen to pale. The floor, curiously enough, was red linoleum. A girl with a malicious grin on her face was sitting towards the back of the room, slightly off center.

"Cool!" Sharon shouted. "Another one!"

"What took ya so long?" the girl smiled slyly at the wary bishonen. "I was starting to wonder if you'd succeeded after all." She finished her sentence by casting a doubtful look at Caesar.

"Luckily for us, Shu supplied a contingency plan." She gestured towards the strategist with an equally sly grin.

"Who is this?" Caesar demanded.

The girl tented her fingers. "My dear Caesar. I'm soooo disappointed in you. And you call yourself a strategist."

Caesar turned bright red and gaped at the girl like a landed fish, trying to come up with a clever comeback and failing miserably.

"I see you have everything in order," She smiled and walked further into the room. "Nice wall."

"It seemed a wise precaution," the girl replied.

Nash back slowly towards the door while Fred gazed at Her with quizzical eyes. "I don't get it. Why one red wall?"

"To hide the blood, Fred," the girl chuckled sadistically.

Fred's eyes widened in realization as he unceremoniously collapsed next to Borus, blinking stupidly.

"To answer the previous question, _I _am Psycholeopard," the girl informed the group, still sitting in the chair.

"That name sounds awfully familiar," Percival interjected thoughtfully. The demon in his arms stirred again. "We really should do something about this." He looked hopefully at Her.

"Oh yes," She made a sweeping gesture towards the demon. "One demon. As promised."

Psycholeopard's grin widened as she studied the demon speculatively. "So this is Yuber? He doesn't look quite as dangerous when he's unconscious. Are you sure this is him?"

"We're sure," Nash shuddered.

His comment earned a contemptuous look from Psycholeopard. "So _that's _how it is."

Nash slumped his shoulders, trying to look as small as possible.

"Come on Percival," She smiled reassuringly. "I'll help you shackle him up."

Psycholeopard's gaze followed them, a look of mild amusement flickering across her features as Percival and She shackled the demons wrists, ankles and collar to the blood red wall. There was slight resistance to their efforts as the demon was just beginning to wake up.

She ushered the bishounen and helpers to the far wall to await the demon's full awakening. Fred had recovered from his earlier shock and joined the bishounen, who had taken up spots directly behind Her.

"What about Borus?" Percival whispered anxiously.

"Don't worry. We'll take care of him when he regains consciousness."

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Yuber's eyes fluttered open. He regained full consciousness remarkably fast, thrashing wildly against his restraints. "You can't do this to me! I'm an immortal demon. Stinking maggots!"

Psycholeopard and She grinned with cruel pleasure, while the bishounen shrank down behind her in terror and shock.

"Are you sure that's going to hold him?" Fred whispered. "They don't look too stable."

"Oh. They'll hold him," She replied, a wicked gleam in Her eye.

"Now, now," Psycholeopard broke in, patronizingly. "You should try to remain calm."

Yuber responded with a feral growl and last rebellious tug on his restraints.

"Are you quite done now?" the girl inquired archly.

The demon's eyes narrowed angrily.

"Let me explain how this is going to go. It's very simple really."

The madwoman heard a scoff come from the general direction of the bishounen.

Psycholeopard shot them a death glare before haughtily turning back to Yuber.

"You're going to let her do that to us?" Percival teased.

She affixed an amused glare at the knight. "Be glad that's all I'll let her do."

The bishounen sunk down again.

"Why don't you just lie on the floor," She smirked before turning her attention back to Psycholeopard and Yuber.

"I've decided on a system of rewards and punishments. If you act in a manner pleasing to me I will reward you. If you displease me…" The girl trailed off in an evil cackle.

Yuber's challenging glare turned to confused study. This wasn't right. _He _was the one who made people suffer. Who did this imposter think she was?

In the meantime, She unconsciously assumed a protective stance in front of Her quailing bishounen. Suddenly, the knight known as Borus blinked groggily, finally recovering from his collision. He froze as the evil laughter reached his ears. "Percival…" he whimpered.

She gave a melodramatic sigh as Percival nudged Her insistently. "Psycholeopard won't hurt you Borus. Just move slowly."

Borus complied, slowly crawling toward the group.

The chuckle stopped, almost reluctantly.

"_I_ am Psycholeopard, by the way, but you can call me _Mistress_."

The bishounen snorted in amusement as Yuber's eyes widened in disbelief.

"If you think…"

She pulled out a pink beret and matching ribbon, causing Yuber to jerk back in revulsion.

"What're you going to…"

"Borus, Sharon. Would you be so kind as to put these on dear Yuber?"

"Sharon…" Futch trailed off as Sharon gleefully ran to Psycholeopard, who promptly handed over the ribbon.

"If you come near me with that…" Yuber warned.

Sharon grinned diabolically at the demon. "Oh don't worry. This won't hurt…much."

Yuber jerked away from the girl, and was rewarded by a sudden sharp tug on his braid.

"Don't move, stupid demon. This shouldn't take long."

As Sharon attempted to stabilize her grip on the braid, Yuber let out his most powerful thunder spell, causing not only himself to convulse with pain, but through contact also causing a jolt to Sharon. "That wasn't very nice," she scowled before countering his attack with her best fire spell.

Yuber grunted in pain as the fire seared his body. When the spell wore off he stood stock still, panting with effort.

"There now. That wasn't so bad was it?" Sharon took a step back from him, admiring her handiwork. A pink ribbon now held Yuber's braid firmly in place. Her mouth twitched. "Your attire could use some improvement though." Yuber glanced down at his clothes or rather the remains of his clothes. Sharon's fire spell had charred most of his attire. He was now loosely covered in rags.

"Do you prefer boxers or briefs?" Nash smirked, causing a slight grin from Percival.

"Your turn, Borus," the girl encouraged, holding out the pink beret.

"You know, I think a tiara would be more appropriate," She offered. "Do you have a tiara?"

"I think that would be a little over the top," Psycholeopard responded.

She shrugged. "As you will. Go on, Borus," She encouraged.

"But I don't really…"

She pouted her lips. "Pleeease. None of the others can really be trusted to complete such an important task."

"You're not going to fool me with that routine again." Borus crossed his arms defiantly.

"Well, I suppose Nash could do it instead," She considered thoughtfully.

Borus paused a moment, glared at the girl and with a defiant snort, sauntered over to the chair, snatching the beret out of the girl's hand.

"Nash indeed," he grumbled.

His resolve weakened as he neared the demon, who watched the knight's approach warily. His confidence somewhat returned as he fed off the other's fear. "I'm going to rip you apart," he snarled.

Borus shuddered and cast an anxious glance at Her and the group. She gestured for him to go on.

"Yes. Come closer," Yuber taunted. "I want to taste your blood."

"Come on Borus," She shouted from the sidelines. "What would Lady Chris say?"

Borus narrowed his eyes, straightened himself up and very quickly placed the beret on Yuber's head. He yelped as Yuber cast a small fire spell, just enough to burn Borus' hand but not quite enough to inflict massive pain upon the wielder. Borus glowered at the demon as he hurried back to his spot with the rest of the bishounen.

"Hey!" She growled. "No one inflicts pain upon Borus except for me!" She pulled out Her first aid kit, carefully smeared some ointment on Borus' hand and gently wrapped a bandage around the offended appendage. "There, there Borus." She patted him reassuringly on the shoulder, causing the knight to glance at Her apprehensively.

"Are you feeling okay?" Nash felt Her forehead, earning a glare.

"I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"No reason. Only that you've never shown this much concern over Borus' well-being before."

She shrugged. "Yeah. Well. Burns are painful…And Psycholeopard needs a good excuse to give her next punishment."

On cue, Psycholeopard stood up. "As your punishment for attacking Borus without my permission, you get to make the acquaintance of…" she paused dramatically. "Mr. Snuggly!" In her hands the girl suddenly held a cute, fluffy, red and white teddy bear, complete with a red ribbon tied in a bow around its neck. She squeezed its tummy and the bear obliging cooed, "I love you," to the unsuspecting demon.

For the first time during his training session, Yuber let out a bloodcurdling scream. "No, no! Turn it off! Turn it off!" he shouted, writhing in the restraints.

She grinned. "Maybe someday, if you're very, _very_ good, you can watch me burn him."

Yuber gave a convulsive shudder as Psycholeopard set the bear to one side.

"Now let me go over the rules." She started listing them off on her fingers. "Rule number one. You _will _call me mistress."

"We already heard that one," Fred complained.

Psycholeopard began to lift her hand.

"Don't," She tentatively warned the other girl. "He's _my_ bishounen." She shrugged.

Psycholeopard nodded, reluctantly put down her hand and faced the demon once again. "Well?"

The demon twitched but nodded his head.

"Rule number two. You will only attack people with my permission."

"Not so different from Silverberg," he grunted. "Go on."

"People includes me," the girl added warningly, earning a snort from one of the bishounen. She cast another scowl back at the group, causing them to put on their most innocent expressions. Psycholeopard rolled her eyes and turned back to the demon expectantly.

Yuber let out a dramatic sigh. "Okay."

"Rule number three. You will not try to escape. In return, you will be granted a limited amount of freedom."

The demon's mouth tightened as he considered this new rule. With Albert he hadn't really had a choice. He had been summoned. But in this case…

Psycholeopard smiled and looked down at Mr. Snuggly, causing the demon to wince.

"Fine. What else?"

"Rule number four. You will respect my property."

Yuber cocked his head to the side.

"You don't destroy my stuff, steal my stuff, throw my stuff out of the window, insult my stuff etcetera. When in doubt, ask. I'll tell you if it's disrespectful."

"That doesn't seem sooo difficult," Yuber responded. "What about my…uh…" he trailed off as he looked down at his present attire. The bishounen snickered in the background.

Psycholeopard smirked. "Oh. Would you like some clothing?"

Yuber nodded curtly.

"I don't hear you!" The girl walked towards another covered lump.

"Yes, please." The demon attempted to feign ignorance.

"Wrong answer!" She shouted from the sidelines. "Maybe you should unveil another one of your toys."

"Very well," Psycholeopard grinned. "I wonder what's under this lump?" The girl uncovered the object with a flourish. "Oh look! It's Love-a-lot bear."

The bishounen grinned in anticipation.

"I'm sure she'll spread joy to everyone who touches her," She taunted. "You'd love that, wouldn't you Yuber."

"Would you like to try again Yubie?" the girl inquired.

He sighed. "Yes…mistress," he mumbled quickly.

Psycholeopard set down the bear and reached into a shopping bag, set conveniently next to her chair. She pulled out an A-shirt, a pair of tight, black leather pants, black shoes with matching socks, black gloves and to top the ensemble off, a pair of designer sunglasses.

"What?" Borus shouted in dismay. "Even the demon gets cool sunglasses!" he whined. "That's not fair!"

She cleared Her throat. "If you recall, Sir Borus, you had a pair of very cool, very fashionable sunglasses…until you broke them."

Borus looked as if he were about to argue. Then he looked like he was going to cry. Finally, he settled for glowering at the wall.

"You have to treat them nicely, Yuber, or you get pink replacements," the girl informed him wickedly.

"Oh no!" Nash breathed. "Not…pink!" The bishounen grinned.

"I think I can handle that. What about…this?" He jerked his chin to indicate the collar.

Psycholeopard grinned. "Oh nooo. I think it's too early in our relationship to remove that."

"Albert would've never subjected me to this," the demon grumbled.

"Albert's going to have problems of his own pretty soon," She grinned maliciously.

Meanwhile, Psycholeopard was glaring at Yuber. "I do not want to hear the name 'Albert' cross your lips again, unless it's telling me how much better I am than him. Is that clear?"

"That'll never happen," She snorted derisively.

Psycholeopard glanced over her shoulder. "To each her own."

Yuber took the opportunity to sneer at his new mistress while her back was turned. As the girl turned her head back to the demon, he quickly smoothed his features. She glared at him suspiciously.

"No mentioning Al…that guy. Got it."

"I think that's it. We'll be going to my place now for some extra training." She grinned, turning to Her once again. "Thanks for the gift!"

"Don't forget these," She remarked, handing both the Teddy and Carebear to the girl.

Psycholeopard chuckled evilly in response.

"Thanks," Yuber responded sarcastically. "What'd I do to make you hate me so much?"

"Let's see," Percival stepped out into the room. "Not only did you actively try killing us but most offensively, you were an obstacle in Her quest to catch the one and only Albert Silverberg."

"Sadie forbid," Borus mumbled.

Yuber sneered, his mismatched eyes glowing with characteristic hatred.

"Okay. Time to go!" Psycholeopard declared as she teleported Yuber and her out of the room.

The bishounen blinked at the empty spot on the wall that formerly held Yuber.

"What was the point of that?" Fred asked.

Caesar, who had been silently taking the situation in, decided to speak up at last. "To remind us all that we could have it infinitely worse."

* * *

_Reviews are always welcome!_


	12. Plan 10: The Twins

_Hello all. Well, I got mixed reviews on my last chapter. Perhaps I should've posted it as a separate story, after all. It was never my intention to do the crossover for more than one chapter but thanks for the tips anyhow. I did decide to keep Yuber in my story though and used a suggestion from Blue Paladin in this chapter (Cookies to anyone who finds it). Thanks for sticking with my story. It think there will be only one chapter after this, unless you guys want me to detail Sasarai's capture. I will only do that if you want though. It could be interesting to see the boys reactions without Her in the picture. _

_ Disclaimer: Suikoden isn't and never will be mine. They just have to rub it in.

* * *

_

_  
Chapter 10: The Twins_

After the demon had been…taken care of, Shu pushed the group to move against the next target, Albert's current employer, Luc. He reasoned the shock of losing his demon coupled with losing his job would dishevel Albert long enough to provide the group a narrow window of opportunity to ensnare Luc. The only question left was how to catch an all-powerful mage who possessed a true rune. So, on a stormy Friday night, the group once again found themselves sitting around a circular table discussing the next step. She was sitting at what could be construed as the head of the table. On Her right side was the self-possessed Shu. On Her left was Caesar, who appeared very fidgety at the moment. Percival was sitting on the opposite side of the table, between Borus and Nash. Franz was sitting despondently next to Caesar, tracing a finger in circles along the table. Shu had suggested they go around the table, giving everyone a chance to voice their ideas before finally settling on his. Fred had just given his opinion on how to capture Luc, which explained the resulting silence at the table. Sharon, sitting next to Fred was the first to recover.

"I think we should blow up the palace," She stated with utmost seriousness. Percival started laughing but quickly disguised it as a cough when he received a death glare from the girl.

Nash took advantage of the opportunity to slap the knight on the back. "You okay, Percival?"

"Just peachy," the knight made a face at Nash

Borus, realizing that his arch nemesis had his hands on his best friend, lunged at the offending spy with a growl. "Get your filthy hands off him!" Unfortunately, as Borus slapped Nash's hand away, he lost his balance, causing him and his chair to topple into the unlucky Percival. She put Her head in Her hands as the two knights crashed to the floor, the spy leaping out of their line of fire just in time.

"Impressive," Shu gazed coolly at the scene. "Aren't you going to help…" he trailed off at Her deadpan expression. With a quick glance around the table, the tactician realized that no one looked too concerned, save Franz, who was observing the scene with distaste.

"Why," She stated rather than asked. "They do this all the time. They've never managed to seriously injure themselves thus far."

"Borus! Get off me!" They heard a muffled yell come from Percival.

"Uh," Caesar grunted. "There was that time Borus threw acid in Percival's eyes."

Shu's eyes widened in disbelief.

Nash smirked. "Need a hand?"

"I think you've helped enough," Percival grunted, as he heaved Borus off him.

"Weren't you unconscious at the time?" She scowled at the red-head, who was now smiling smugly while pretending to pick at his nails.

"Should I be concerned for my welfare?" Shu asked, half-seriously, as both knights slowly rose to their feet.

"Don't worry." She patted Shu comfortingly on the shoulder. "They were all informed of the consequences of turning their mischief towards you."

"Thanks Borus," Percival cracked his neck. "My back was out place before, but I think that fall definitely fixed it."

Borus winced at his friends derisive tone while he stood both chairs on their legs. "Sorry Perce."

Percival's eyes softened a bit, and he shrugged. "No harm done." He grinned at the other knight, clapping him companionably on the shoulder. Borus looked visibly relieved.

Shu turned to Her, unconvinced as the two knights retook their seats.

She ignored the strategist. "If I knew you guys had trouble sitting in chairs, I would've made yours with a seatbelt." Nash snickered at the knight's abashed expressions. She continued without pause. "Getting back to your idea, Sharon, I could blow up the palace, but Luc is a bishounen, and I'm collecting bishounen, not blowing them to smithereens."

"Oh," Sharon deflated. "How about…"

"Sharon," She admonished the girl. "You've had your turn. Now it's time to let the others share their ideas." The girl crossed her arms sullenly in response.

Shu's eyes held a tinge of amusement as he surveyed the group, his eyes lingering slightly on the knight's. "So, we've established that both demolishing the palace and directly attacking the mage are not good plans.

Fred slumped in his chair. "I think we could defeat him head on."

"That's why you're not in charge," Nash retorted. "Enough of this," Nash's mouth quirked wryly. "You obviously have a plan Shu. Maybe you should tell us what it is before Borus devises a way to get at me without injuring his comrade, here." He jerked his head towards Percival, who snorted in response.

"Unlikely," She scoffed.

Caesar squirmed in his chair. "I think we could use Luc's brother."

"Wow," Nash mockingly appraised Caesar. "Shu. I didn't realize you were into red hair now."

Caesar flushed at the implied criticism.

"You think so?" Shu arched an eyebrow, ignoring the spy's comment. "Luc hates his brother."

"Yes," Caesar continued, with a final glare at Nash. "But Luc's after the true runes and his brother is wielder of the True Earth Rune."

"It might work," Shu nodded his head thoughtfully. "I assume you have a plan to capture Sasarai."

"Of course." Caesar almost looked arrogant.

"Very well," Shu shrugged his acquiescence. "As leading strategist here, I give you leave to pick your team for your mission."

She touched Shu's leave, and leaned close to his ear. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Don't worry," he smiled back reassuringly. "If all goes well, you'll have another member to add to your team. If not," the strategist shrugged, "At least we'll be free of Caesar's execrable ideas for the next mission."

She blinked once before nodding Her head and turning back to Caesar. "You can't take Percival though."

"Awww," Percival whined sarcastically. "And I so wanted to go with him!"

Caesar pursed his lips and looked as if he was about to argue with Her. Her lip twitched in the beginnings of a snarl causing the red-head to think better of it. "Fine," he shrugged. "I want Futch, Franz, Borus and Watari."

"I don't want to get in trouble for kidnapping a Harmonian bishop!" Franz cried.

"Calm down." She looked at Caesar disdainfully. "A strategist of your skill should be able to capture Sasarai with just Futch, Borus and Watari."

Caesar puffed himself up. "Of course I can! Now that I think about it, he would just get in the way anyhow."

"Hey!" Franz shouted. "I-"

"Sit down Franz," She commanded. The mantor trainer sullenly obeyed. "I have enough to deal with with those three over there," She gestured at Nash, Percival and Borus. "without you starting to act up to."

"What about Sharon?" the dragon knight turned to his apprentice in vain hope.

"Oh," She smiled sweetly. "Sharon stays here."

"What!" Sharon opened Her mouth to argue. "I…"

She scowled at the apprentice. "Don't argue with me, Sharon. I just got a whole new troupe of NPC servants. I need you to stay here to keep them in line."

Sharon paused, considering the havoc She could wreak on the NPCs while She was gone."

"Sharon," She warned, recognizing the expression on the girl's face.

"Okay, Okay," The dragon knight apprentice rolled Her eyes. "I'll stay."

"And…"

Sharon wrinkled her nose in distaste. "And I'll be nice to your servants."

"Thank you."

"Whatever," Sharon grumbled.

That settled, She gestured for Caesar's troop to move out. As the group marched single file out the door, She grabbed Watari by the arm, easily staring him down. "If anything goes wrong, I want you to get Borus and Sasarai out of there. Understood?"

The ninja bobbed his head once and slid out of the room.

"Not concerned about Futch?" Nash smirked.

She shrugged. "He's got a dragon." She turned to Shu expectantly. "So what do you know that I don't?"

Shu assumed an innocent expression. "Whatever do you mean?"

"Why are you letting Caesar go after Sasarai, knowing the bishop might be of some use to us? You know there's a good chance Caesar will fail."

Shu smiled calmly. "I find that it's better for one to not reveal his secrets until they are no longer of use."

Percival smirked.

She quirked an eyebrow at Her strategist, not in the mood for games.

Shu looked around the table and smirked. "Fortunately for you, the reason I've kept this secret is no longer present…Sasarai no longer possesses his true Earth rune." Eyes widened all around the table.

"You don't seem surprised Nash," Percival remarked softly.

"I was there," Nash grimaced in reply. "There was nothing I could do, so of course I came back here and told our all mighty strategist."

Fred's brow furrowed. "But didn't Caesar just go to get Sasarai for his true rune?"

"That was his plan," Shu agreed.

Sharon chuckled maliciously.

"If young Caesar accompanied us on this mission he would be so intent on proving his intellectual superiority that he would not pay attention to the mission, lose sight of the ultimate goal, prematurely reveal our position or otherwise make a misstep that could jeopardize our success. This puts him on a harmless quest to get him out of the way. Sasarai is of no strategic importance to us, so if he fails…" Shu shrugged.

"But if he succeeds, there will be an extra bishounen joining the team," She smiled approvingly. "I knew there was a reason I went to the trouble of obtaining you."

"Hmm," Percival thumbed his chin thoughtfully. "That's rather devious."

Shu shrugged. "It was necessary."

"So what is our plan for capturing Luc?"

Shu pulled out a map and laid it across the table. "Right now, Luc is headed for the mantor trainer's shrine as a result of Albert's manipulations."

She started. "Why…?"

"Luc is on a quest to obtain all five of the Elemental True Runes. Now that he has two of them, it will be easy for him to extract the other three from their current bearers. Albert has arranged it so Geddoe's team will try to intercept Luc at the shrine…"

"So he can steal the True Lightning Rune," Percival groaned.

Shu nodded. "What we must do is intercept Geddoe's team before they reach the entrance to the shrine."

She shifted uncomfortably. "You'd better do that Shu. Geddoe doesn't like me very much."

"That's an understatement," Nash snickered.

"I can take care of that," Shu assured Her. "You'll have to wear a hooded cloak to disguise your identity though."

She considered for a moment. "We all wear cloaks and they're black."

"Done."

The team of Shu, Percival, Nash, Fred and She traveled without hazard (except for some misunderstanding between Fred and the ducks in Duck Village) to the Le Buque inn, where they successfully met up with Geddoe's team. She waited in the shadows until Shu had explained the situation to the mercenaries, who were more than glad to stay out of Her way.

"Someday you'll have to tell me what you did to that hardened mercenary captain to make him so afraid of you," Shu commented.

She chuckled uneasily before fixing Her eyes on the ground. "Sacrifices must be made for the good of the group, right?"

"Hm," Shu grunted. "They wanted to know who we brought with us." Shu and She glanced towards the three hooded figures hovering in the corner by the door. Well, actually one hooded figure was hovering in the corner. The other two were looking markedly uncomfortable and trying to give the figure as much space as possible while still trying to maintain the appearance of a cohesive unit.

"And…"

"I told them it would be better for them if they didn't know." Shu smirked wickedly.

"Nice. How's Franz taking the news?"

Shu snorted. "Rather well, I think…considering that he's a hot-headed nationalist and all of his people have been kidnapped by a Harmonian Bishop and are being held hostage at the shrine his people have been guarding reverently for decades."

"You put such a positive spin on everything."

"I try."

"I suppose we should get on to the shrine." She directed a smirk at the mercenaries.

Shu nodded. "Yes, and quickly. Albert has informants everywhere. He may already know of our involvement."

She grinned maliciously. "Is that a bad thing?"

Shu studied Her a moment before answering. "On the contrary. I'm counting on it."

The two looked towards the mercenaries, who were in a deep discussion with Franz. Geddoe suddenly shrugged and calmly followed Franz out of the inn. The remaining three mercenaries were silent for a moment before breaking out into a heated argument, Joker and Queen on one side and Ace on the other.

"Come on Ace." Queen snarled. "All you have to do is go over there and tell Her we're leaving."

"Are you kidding?" Ace whispered urgently. "I'm not going over there! Do you remember what happened last time?" His face paled. "What if She's not ready to leave?"

"Just remind Her that we're the ones in charge here," Queen scowled at Ace. "What kind of a man are you anyway?"

"I…Now wait a minute," Ace put a finger in her face.

"You're the one that got us into this mess in the first place," Joker countered. "If you weren't such an idiot, She would've never tried to take advantage of you."

"But…" Ace was beginning to panic.

"I wouldn't say that." The mercenaries froze as She walked up beside of them, Shu right behind Her, modeling the ideal strategist. "I could've taken advantage of either of you as well…But it wouldn't've been as much fun."

The mercenaries unconsciously put their hands to their weapons. She ignored the gesture. "In fact, you should be thanking Ace. If not for him, I would've _had_ to use one of you."

"That would've been unfortunate," Shu remarked, his eyes maintaining a stony expression.

Ace chuckled nervously. "Yes, well. It's good that we're all getting along, but it's time to go." He gestured towards the door.

"You can go first." She offered magnanimously.

"Oh no," Ace threw his hands in the air. "Please. I insist."

She exchanged an amused smile with Shu.

"Only if you insist." She twitched Her finger at the guys in the corner. Two came immediately. The other looked away, as if misunderstanding the signal. She responded by stamping Her foot and angrily pointing at the ground.

He growled, and slowly sauntered over to Her. She scowled at the figure for a moment before soundly cuffing his ears. "Pink bunnies," She whispered enticingly.

He flinched away from Her slightly.

"We're ready," She smiled sweetly at the mercenaries, who all looked a little bewildered at the exchange.

Queen returned the smile with a shaky one of her own. "Okay then. Lead the way."

"This should be interesting," One of the cloaked figures commented.

They walked quietly through the deserted little town to the exit. "This really is a sad little town," She remarked.

"Hmm," Shu grunted without breaking stride. "The people of Le Buque don't have much to live for. As Harmonian third class citizens they're basically slaves. It's particularly difficult for these people to adjust because of their nationalistic culture. They would actually be more useful to Harmonia if they were allowed to have some rights. Although…" Shu shrugged. "With all major dissenters being translocated to Crystal Valley, there's really no one that would seriously challenge Harmonian rule."

Franz snapped. "I told Iku not to come back! Why didn't she listen to me?"

Nash turned his cloaked head to the mantor trainer. "For the same reason the other mantor trainers came back here after you came to the ranch…"

Franz blinked in confusion.

Nash smiled patronizingly. "Because she cares about this place just as much as you do."

Franz locked his troubled eyes on the ground.

"Not again!" whined Ace, startling everyone from their gloomy thoughts. "Why do the bad guys always have to carry out their business at the top of huge, dangerous mountains?"

"Stop complaining," Queen sniffed disdainfully, Aila following suit.

"It could be worse, Ace," Joker grinned, while the girls haughtily stalked past Ace. "We could have to fight our way through a dungeon."

"I don't see a difference," She muttered, snuggling under Her cloak. "They're both cold, dark, damp and full of spiders."

"Not to mention undead monsters and Mirages," Percival helpfully pointed out, as the group started up the mountain.

"Yeah, that too."

"Or we might be hostages at the top of this mountain at this very moment," Nash commented sarcastically.

The group turned to stare at Nash as he suddenly came down with a fit of sneezing.

"Gesundheit," She cocked Her head to one side, visually appraising Nash's condition.

"I'm fine," he impatiently waved Her off. "I'm just coming down with a little cold, that's all."

"What a shame," Percival grinned, not looking particularly sorry for his traveling companion.

"Thanks, friend."

"How are you doing?" She cautiously peered into the third cloaked figures face.

"Oh, I'm fine. Just fine," he retorted. "Can I kill things yet?"

As soon as the figure spoke, Geddoe's head shot back in alarm. "That better not be who I think it is."

She put on Her most winning grin, as Nash sneezed again. "Whatever do you mean, dear Geddoe?"

"Fuzzbutt of a furfly!" Joker cursed. "You brought that deranged lunatic with you!"

"Thank you." Yuber grinned under his hood.

Geddoes lips thinned. "My team isn't going to get hurt in this venture."

"Oh, don't worry. Yuber won't hurt you." She glanced at Nash, whose eyes looked rather drowsy. "Nash might be contagious though."

"Is impudence contagious?" Percival blinked innocently.

The mercenary team sniggered while Nash glared at the impudent knight.

The captain sighed and continued on up the mountain.

"_Someone_ better get hurt on this trip," Yuber growled.

"Well," Shu started. "If you're really set on the idea you can clear our path up the mountain."

Yuber considered. "I could."

"Or not," She shrugged. "It makes no difference to me, either way."

"You're no fun." Yuber snorted and brandished his swords. "Hmmm," he stared at the two swords in his hands.

The mercenaries snickered again. "Nice blades," Joker quipped.

Nash coughed.

"This does pose a problem," She glanced back at Shu, fighting back a smile. "Nerf swords?"

Yuber shrugged and began stabbing the ground with the swords, only they didn't really stab the ground, but instead bent into a ninety degree angle upon contact. "Psycholeopard said she didn't trust me."

She scratched the side of Her eye thoughtfully. "Understandable."

"Did she also disable your magic?" Shu prodded.

Yuber held up his neck, which still had a collar around it.

"I see." Shu glanced at Her.

"What?"

"Surely you can do something about this."

She grimaced. "I don't know…"

Yuber leaned over to whisper in Her ear. Her eyes widened in shock as She looked at him. "She wouldn't."

Yuber grunted.

She smiled and reached over to undo the collar. Ace quickly cowered behind Queen, who sniffed her opinion of her cowardly teammate.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" Aila looked at the demon doubtfully.

Nash coughed again, shaking his head. "Big mistake."

"I don't think Yuber is a threat at this time. There. Now should be able to use your magic."

He sighed in relief as the collar snapped off. A bolt of lightning immediately hit Nash squarely in the behind.

"Hey!" he shouted, slowly picking himself up. "Aren't you going to do something about that?"

"That was just a reaction of the collar coming off," Yuber solemnly explained.

She glowered at him sternly, her mouth twitching. "Maybe it will cure your cold?"

Nash glowered at the demon, rubbing his behind.

"You are to stay in sight at all times and only use your magic to clear our path or when I otherwise tell you to. Understand?"

Yuber nodded his head, practically bouncing up and down.

"Okay, then."

With that Yuber bounded off, destroying the undead monsters in his path. The group looked on in wide-eyed astonishment.

"You'd think he would've just vaporized us when he had a chance," Percival shivered.

"I think Albert overworked him," She glared distastefully at the demon.

Shu looked amused. "Perhaps Albert just had certain guidelines for Yuber."

She shrugged. "Perhaps."

"Shhh," Shu admonished Her as they neared the shrine. "Listen."

"Yuber," She whispered.

The demon's shoulders slumped as he dragged his feet dejectedly back to the group.

"There, there," She patted him comfortingly on the shoulder. "You can clear the way down as well…And if we have real trouble with Luc, you can help."

Yuber started. "Double-crossing my former employer's employer." He grinned maliciously. "I love it."

Shu asked, as the group hid behind a boulder. "I didn't think the bond would allow you to do that."

Yuber's mismatched eyes twinkled. "Normally it wouldn't. But my bond with Albert is weak now. Psycholeopard made sure of that." He shuddered.

"Speak of the devil," She whispered. The group watched silently as Albert emerged from a portal ahead of them.

"Luc!" he called.

"Hmm," the magician walked out from behind a pillar of the shrine.

"We have a slight problem."

"Problem?" Luc's brow furrowed for an instant. "Well, take care of it then. That's what I hired you for."

"Y-yes," Albert's eyes flickered. "I have reason to believe you're in danger."

Luc chuckled coldly. "Albert. I have two True Runes. I'm on a mission to annihilate the world. What could possibly be a danger to me?"

"Someone that has the ability to capture you and so prevent you from obtaining your benevolent goal."

Luc paused and stared at the strategist thoughtfully. Albert's usually unruffled appearance was somewhat shattered. From the dark circles under his eyes, it was obvious the man hadn't slept in days. His face was haggard, his hair was ruffled and his coat was wrinkled. "What exactly have you done Albert?"

A bead of sweat dripped from the strategist's brow.

"Where's Yuber?"

She held the demon down.

"That's part of the problem."

Luc raised his eyebrows. "Explain."

"Remember that Girl I told you about. The one who tried to kidnap me in Vinay del Zexay?"

"The One that you told me was an insignificant insect?"

She grinned maliciously.

Albert grimaced slightly and nodded.

Luc sighed. "So what do we do?"

"We have to get back to Crystal Valley. She could be here any minute."

"Or She could _already_ be here," Her eyes gleamed hungrily at the strategist as the group and She stepped out from their hiding place.

"Who are you!" Luc demanded, taking in the mercenary group as well as the cloaked figures. She quickly pushed back Her hood.

"Who I am is no concern of yours. Here are our terms."

Shu unshrouded himself and stared the magician unflinchingly in the eye. "You can choose to come with us, and we will not harm or restrain you in any way, shape or form."

"Or…"

Shu grinned. "Or you can resist us and we will take you by force."

At that moment Percival, Nash and Yuber unveiled themselves.

"Yuber!" Albert shouted.

The demon calmly turned to his former master.

"Yuber! What are you doing? Kill them at once."

"I wish I could. On my loathing of Pesmerga I wish I could."

"Hey!" Percival shouted. "We're not that bad."

"Look at my hair," the demon shook with barely contained rage, as he flung his braid out of the hood.

The group's eyes widened as they took in the sight. Albert stared dumbly at the braid. Finally, She giggled. "I don't know. I kind of like it."

"It's pink," the demon breathed. "I…hate…pink."

The mercenaries snickered again.

Yuber's eyes narrowed. "I could kill you."

She instantly turned serious. "You lay a hand on them and so help me, I'll make you sit in a pink room filled with cute little fuzzy bunnies with the Care Bears on all day listening to Jessica Simpson."

"Sing?" Nash stared.

"Speak."

Yuber shuddered. "What do you want?"

She grinned. "You see, Albert. Yuber is…well, mine for the moment."

Albert's face went ashen. "Y…you can't do that. _I_ summoned him from the underworld."

Shu snorted. "You really should learn not to underestimate the abilities of your opponents.

"Y…yuber?" Albert trailed off plaintively.

"Sorry." The demon shrugged. "I don't work for you anymore." The demon directed a feral grin at his former master.

"So this is it, then." The strategist looked resigned.

She exchanged a look with Shu. "I think you misunderstand us Albert….We're not here for you. We're here for Luc."

The strategist blinked. "But…"

"So what's it gonna be Luc?" Shu interrupted, ignoring the other strategist.

Albert stared at the group barely hidden disbelief. "You want to break me."

"Sarah," the magician responded coldly, while putting his hand in the air.

"That's not going to be as easy as you perceive." The strategist's eyes narrowed.

"Get down!" She shouted, tackling Shu as masses of ice sprang up around them.

"I got her." Yuber's eyes gleamed.

"Don't kill her," She warned as Yuber pummeled into Sarah, causing the sorceress to collapse to the ground in an unconscious heap. At the same time, Geddoe turned Thor's Hammer on Luc, causing him to join Sarah on the ground.

"Bring them over here Yuber," She ordered.

"No Yuber!" Albert rushed towards the demon to stop him. Yuber slowly turned his head towards the strategist and casually knocked him to the ground. Albert suddenly found himself with two twin swords crossed on his throat. The group froze, except for their one extremely composed strategist.

"I thought he didn't have his swords!" Nash cast an alarmed glance at Her. She glanced at Shu, who regarded the demon calmly.

"Just a second Yuber."

Yuber shrugged, not breaking eye contact with Albert.

"I should tell you, Albert," Shu calmly got back on his feet and brushed his cloak off. "I wouldn't count on falling back on any of your former employers. Sasarai already knows of your betrayal. We are now in possession of Luc." Shu paused, noting Albert's still arrogant demeanor. "And your last employer no longer feels you're trustworthy enough to have dealings with."

"What other employer?" Albert snidely asked.

Shu smiled knowingly. "Did you suddenly forget about your friend over in the Western continent? She certainly hasn't forgotten about you."

Albert's face paled. "How…"

"She wasn't very pleased when I told her of your transgressions in Harmonia. I believe she said something along the lines of annihilating you should you try to land in her country again."

"You're lying," Albert breathed.

"Am I?" Shu arched an eyebrow. "Perhaps you should go over there and ask her yourself. I wouldn't be surprised if assassins were already on your trail. She seemed pretty angry by the time I was finished."

Albert groaned.

"That's all," Shu gestured to the demon..

"My turn," the demon whispered menacingly, forcing his former master to meet his gaze.

"Dissatisfied with the working conditions I imposed upon you, Yuber?" Albert sneered.

Yuber smiled dangerously. "You know, for all your tough talk, you look a little tense." The demon grinned, his mismatched eyes twinkling. "Don't you trust me?"

Albert's breath quickened. "No."

"Awww. Now that hurts. And after all that time we spent together." Yuber feigned a wounded expression. He lazily trailed one his swords along Albert's neck drawing a thin line of blood across his otherwise flawless skin. A trace of fear flickered across Albert's features before he regained his arrogant air.

"I don't trust anyone, least of all a centuries-old demon whose only desire is to leave an everlasting trail of chaos in his wake."

"Well, it is what he's good at," Percival pointed out. Albert directed a withering glare at the undaunted swordsman.

"Alas," Yuber sighed disappointedly as he casually wiped the bloody sword across his lips, sucking the blood off. "You don't have anything to be afraid of…from me. I'm not going to kill you…unfortunately." Yuber glanced at Her.

"Unfortunate for who?" Albert's eyes narrowed slightly at the demon.

Yuber smiled, slowly turning his face back towards Albert. Albert shuddered as the demon closed in on him, letting his breath bathe the strategist's face. "I think I'll let you decide," he whispered, putting a finger under Albert's chin.

"Yuber." Her tone held a warning note.

"Duty calls." He smirked before straightening and sheathing his swords in one fluid motion. She glared as Yuber smugly returned to Her side. "So, do I still get to clear the way down?"

* * *

_Please review, especially if you have opinions on a Sasarai chapter!_  



	13. Plan 11: The Other Twin

_I wasn't planning on writing a whole chapter on the capture of Sasarai, but once I started I couldn't seem to stop. I also have the last chapter written but am going to wait a bit before posting it. Why? Because I'm a sadist. Thanks for all the nice and borderline reviews. I appreciate them all. _

_ Disclaimer: I don't own Suikoden. Somehow, I'll deal with it._

_

* * *

Chapter 11: The Other Twin_

After capturing Luc (and Sarah) and traveling all the way down the treacherous mountain (courtesy of Yuber), She parted ways with the mercenaries. She offered to take them back to Budehuc by way of the blinking mirror, but the group had politely refused. Joker muttered something about rather fighting two water dragons complete with hovering icicles. She responded with a cheery shrug and thank you and, much to the mercenary's relief, promptly teleported away, bishounen in tow. Upon returning to the ranch, the group was greeted by a crowd of NPCs and Caesar's frantic yelling.

"Stand back! Stand back! Oh, come on now." She could practically see the young strategist's foot stamp in frustration. The NPCs were obviously not listening to him. Indeed they actually seemed to move in closer to whatever it was that they were surrounding.

Shu's mouth twitched in a smile as he glanced at Her. "Perhaps leaving him alone wasn't a good tactic after all."

She returned the smile, albeit somewhat anxiously, before breaking out in a run towards the NPCs. She had an idea of what the crowd was surrounding, and She didn't like the direction the situation was headed. "Caesar!" She could feel, if not see, him cringe under Her authoritative call as She pushed Her way through the NPCs.

"Thank goodness," She heard a breathy sound of relief from Futch, who was obviously also stuck in the middle of the NPC mob.

"Futch! Are you alright?" Her anxiety waned a bit. She had more faith in the dragon knight's ability than Her inexperienced strategist.

"He actually caught Sasarai!" Sharon shouted, before the dragon knight could respond. At that moment She reached the middle of the curious crowd, the rest of the bishounen easily following through the path She made.

"No kiddin'." Shu looked slightly impressed. Of course, he realized the potential of the young strategist, but Caesar tended to try a little too hard sometimes, which often led to failure.

She, on the other hand, was not impressed. This was not so much due to Her lack of respect for Caesar's skill, but more because if Caesar did catch Sasarai, the bishop was more than likely injured in some way. That would explain the crowd of NPCs and the reason he was lying motionlessly on the ground. She quickly appraised Caesar's group of bishounen. They were standing guard, in a futile attempt to prevent the NPCs from getting too close, but they didn't look hurt. Luckily, when She reached the middle, all the NPCs backed a respectful distance away. She glared at them, shooing them back to their business before carefully kneeling beside the unconscious bishop. "What did you do to him Caesar!" She exclaimed, while prying open his lids and checking them for dilation.

"I didn't do anything!" the teen protested, not meeting Her eyes.

"What do you mean, you didn't do anything to him. His pupils are dilated!" She screamed. Caesar shrank down.

"Elaborate," Shu, always the voice of reason, commanded softly.

Caesar flushed at the other strategist's tone, still looking as if he'd rather be anywhere other than where he was. "We had a small situation involving Borus and the guards," he reluctantly admitted.

"Really." She was now finished with her preliminary exam and arched a well sculpted eyebrow at the knight, who kicked at an imaginary stone.

"They were lecherous bastards!" Borus whined.

"Bad-mouthing Lady Chris?" Nash smirked.

Borus' fingers turned white over the hilt of his sword as he recalled the guards. "They said…" he sighed with barely restrained rage and tried again. "They…"

Caesar directed a slightly contemptuously look at Borus' feeble attempts and pretended to flick a piece of lint off his shirt. "They suggested Chris was sleeping with her knights..." He smirked as Borus growled at the memory. Percival looked conflicted and Nash had the audacity to chuckle.

"And he expressed some jealously over the matter." Caesar shrugged.

"How dare you…callous…" Borus snapped and grabbed the strategist by the collar, hoisting him up to eye-level.

"Borus," She warned. Although She really wasn't all that concerned about the strategist's fate at the moment, She did want to hear the story.

"Really," Shu considered. "That's not a completely outrageous conclusion…" Borus dropped the red-haired strategist, who unceremoniously flopped to the ground and turned his murderous gaze towards Shu. "If you don't know Lady Chris, of course," he finished. "Think about it." Shu calmly sauntered over to Borus and put his hand on the knight's shoulder. "There aren't many women in the military. Those that haven't seen Chris' prowess in battle and observed her control of command might doubt her ability to successfully lead the Zexen Knights."

Borus grumbled, but couldn't think of an acceptable argument to counter Shu. "I'm going inside," he growled, angrily stomping towards the ranch.

"I'll go make sure he doesn't hurt anyone…like himself," Percival muttered, before rushing after the other knight.

"He always says that," Futch muttered, watching the knights go inside.

All of a sudden, Caesar noticed Yuber, who was standing inconspicuously to the side of the group, an unconscious Luc hoisted over his shoulder. "What the hell is _he_ doing here?" Caesar shouted.

"Caesar," Shu addressed the younger tactician. "It's not good practice for a strategist to raise his voice…ever. It's unprofessional…not to mention unseemly."

"Shut up!" Caesar, whose face was now completely crimson, yelled. "You have some explaining to do!" He tried to get up in Her face, but as he was about three inches shorter than Her, was not having much luck.

"No," She addressed the strategist with some amusement. "_You_ have some explaining to do." She gestured towards Sasarai. "Then, if I feel like explaining Yuber's presence to you after you tell me all about how you messed up, I will."

Caesar stammered indignantly a moment, before crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at the grass.

"Well," She prodded. Caesar remained stubbornly silent.

Futch sighed. "First, we tried teleporting to Crystal Valley, but apparently Caesar doesn't know how to use the blinking mirror correctly," Caesar glared at the dragon knight. "Because instead of ending up in the Capital of Harmonia, we ended up in the far outreaches of the Northern Outlands."

"That's kind of close!" Caesar protested.

"How can you not use the blinking mirror properly?" Shu asked, only barely able to keep the derision he was feeling out of his tone. "It's not Viki, for example, prone to human error. It's a non-living organism. You tell it your destination and it takes you there."

"Yeah, well," Caesar sputtered before finding an acceptable argument. "She probably booby-trapped it against me!"

"I most certainly did not!" She heatedly objected.

"Why would She do that?" Shu didn't bother hiding his derision now. "She wanted Sasarai, and you were saving Her time by doing the job. It wouldn't be in Her best interests to sabotage your mission."

"That's right!" She nodded vehemently.

"You seem be able to accomplish that all on your own," Nash remarked.

Shu sighed, knowing his efforts of calming Caesar down would be put to waste by that comment. He wasn't disappointed as Caesar's face immediately puffed up like a furrfly. He was about to retaliate when Futch saved the day by continuing the story.

"Oh," the dragon knight continued. "I forgot. Not only did we end up in the Northern Outlands, but we somehow managed to teleport right in the middle of the only swamp on the east side of the continent."

"That doesn't seem so bad…" She carefully interjected.

"It wouldn't have been," Futch continued. "Only we landed in the marsh…and interrupted some large species of snake's nap."

She grimaced slightly, while Nash snickered and Shu raised an eyebrow.

"And her babies," Borus, rejoining the party, added dryly. "Don't forget about her babies."

"Where's Percival?" She addressed Borus.

"Cleaning up." The knight shrugged. "He lost." As if on cue, Percival trotted back outside and began walking towards the group. "Mind if I take over for a while?" Borus asked. Futch shook his head, smiling wryly. "You were at the part where Caesar teleported us into a cesspool of venomous reptilians?"

Futch nodded. She started as Borus' previous comment sank in and stared at Caesar in a mix of shock and anger.

"Venomous?" Caesar winced as Her hands started shaking, but nodded miserably.

"So we all had to fight our way out of The Lake of Snakes," Borus continued. "Well," he amended, glancing over at Watari, who was lounging against a tree beside Yuber. "Almost all of us. Watari simply did his vanishing trick to get out of the pool and watched us to see how we would fair."

She turned a glare at Watari who shrugged as if to say, "You only told me to get Borus out of there if he was put in a dangerous position directly related to the capturing of Sasarai."

"You know a ninja won't put himself at unnecessary risk to save a comrade," Shu chastised. She grunted in response and turned back to Borus.

"The snakes outnumbered us greatly, but somehow I managed to hold them off long enough for the party to exit the pool."

"No. It was due to my superior strategy," Caesar interrupted. "I arranged it so the mother snake would snap at me and instead get one of her babies. Then she panicked, sending the rest of the young snakes into complete disorder, which gave us enough time to exit the pool."

Futch snorted. "That's not how it went. One of the baby snakes did bite Caesar and the mother snake had herself all coiled around Borus and was attempting to drown him when Bright finally arrived." Percival smirked at both Caesar and his friend's discomfiture.

"Bright wasn't there to begin with?" She interrupted, trying to follow the story.

"Ahem," Futch cleared his throat. "Who's telling the story?"

"You are," She mumbled before taking a comfortable seat on the grass.

Futch stared at Her pointedly before continuing. "Apparently, while the rest of us were teleported to the Northern Outlands, Bright actually made it to Crystal Valley hours before we reached our destination." She sighed while Shu rolled His eyes. Nash smirked at the irony. "Luckily, he seems to have a sixth sense and knew where to locate me."

"Wait! Doesn't the mirror work instantaneously?" Shu turned his puzzled glance on Caesar, who shrugged.

"Don't ask me. I just went along for the ride."

Futch cleared his throat again and impatiently tapped his foot.

"Sorry," Shu stated dryly. "Please continue."

Futch nodded his acceptance of the apology. "Bright flew over as fast as he could, and made it there in the nick of time. He plucked me out first, before rescuing Caesar and then Borus."

"Any particular reason for that order?" Shu inquired, genuinely interested.

"It seems that, not only was the snake's venom extremely toxic, but Caesar also had an allergic reaction to it and was on the brink of death at the time."

Her eyes widened again as She looked at Caesar. "I was fine," he mumbled, rubbing his arms.

"You were going into shock," Futch countered. "So, we had to fly to the nearest village in hopes they would sell some kind of antitoxin, since the ones we brought weren't strong enough. Luckily, Bright remembered flying over one, not too far away from the swamp."

"Unfortunately, the villagers were hostile," Borus interrupted. "And they noticed when Bright flew over them the first time, and so prepared for the dragon to attack. We weren't within 100 feet of the village before arrows started flying towards the dragon. I deflected some with my sword."

"Of course," Shu interjected wryly as Futch snorted, both actions causing Borus to flush before moving on.

"Uh. Well, we decided to land right away and let Bright stay out of sight in case there was heavier resistance up ahead. We figured the savages would not be looking for ground forces."

Shu nodded his approval of the plan.

"We ran into some more scouts not too far from our landing spot, and tried to explain our predicament. Unfortunately, they didn't seem to understand us, but they did take us to their village."

"As hostages," Futch butted in.

Borus nodded reluctantly. "As hostages," he agreed. "They were sneaky barbarians. Even Watari couldn't avoid these scouts."

"Or perhaps he chose not to," Shu commented.

As Borus paused, Futch took up the story. "But they comprehended Caesar's affliction and treated him as soon as we reached the village…Well, right after they confiscated our weapons and the mirror."

"Good thing too, because he was going into seizures," Borus remarked.

"My mirror!" She cried.

Futch glared at Her to be quiet. "Just let us tell the story." She impatiently subsided. "After that, we were all thrown into a makeshift cell made up of wooden branches."

"Rock hard wooden branches," Borus elaborated.

"Yes. They even withheld Borus' temper tantrum upon being thrown in a cell."

Everyone smirked at Futch's wry tone…except Borus, who glared at the offending dragon knight.

"Even the natives were concerned about us after Borus threw his fit, and stayed well away from the cage until nightfall."

"That's when Caesar became coherent again," Borus explained.

She nodded. "And this was a good thing?" Caesar directed a venomous glare at Her.

"Actually, it was," Futch sounded surprised himself. "They'd put him in a cage next to us, so he would have room to lie down. He started having seizures again, apparently a delayed reaction to the medication, which he was also allergic to, by the way."

"And the reaction took that long?" Percival asked, incredulously.

"Caesar is notorious for his delayed reactions," Nash quipped. It took a few seconds before Caesar fully understood Nash's comment. "Hey! I…"

"Anyway…" Futch continued. "Where was I."

"Caesar started seizuring again." Nash smirked at the play on words.

"Oh yes," Futch smiled. "This caused the natives to come over to check out the situation. They had no choice but to open his cage."

"Let me tell this part!" Borus pleaded. Futch shrugged and nodded.

"So, the savages had no choice but to open Caesar's cage."

"Well, they could've let him die," Percival disputed.

"That's not funny!" Caesar shouted.

Shu sighed. "I wonder how I'm going to arrange it, so your face doesn't turn red every time you get flustered or angry."

"Anyway…" She interrupted, before Caesar could form a retort. "The villagers opened Caesar's cage…"

"Right." Borus grinned. "The barbarians opened Caesar's cage, and he jumped them."

"Caesar jumped someone and I missed it? No fair," Percival whined.

Shu's shook his head in disappointment. "No. No. No. Strategists do not _jump_ people."

She, on the other hand, chuckled at the vision of Caesar hurtling at anyone. "Did it work?"

Borus nodded, frankly astonished. "They weren't worried about a scrawny little thing like him." Borus nodded towards Caesar, who swelled with pride.

"They were wrong! That'll teach 'em not to underestimate their opponents."

"I do believe I've heard that somewhere before," Shu remarked.

Caesar continued. "I surprised the first guard and stole his weapon."

"A staff," Futch broke in.

"And then I hit the other right between the eyes."

"More like, he swung wildly and was lucky enough to hit the other guard." Futch snorted.

"And didn't anyone else hear the commotion?" She looked from Caesar to Borus to Futch.

"They didn't have the cage near their village," Futch explained.

"Makes sense," Percival commented. "I wouldn't want _them_ near my family either."

"After Caesar took the guards down, he took their keys and unlocked our cage."

"They were rudimentary keys too," Caesar grinned at his success.

"Of course, he then promptly passed out from exhaustion," Futch sighed ruefully.

"Very roughly carved. It's amazing they even worked in the lock."

"So we took turns carrying him back to where we left Bright, and who do you think was waiting for us?"

"Native scouts?" She hazarded.

"The mother snake?" Nash looked hopeful.

"Nope." Borus shook his head. "Jacques."

Shu nodded. "That explains how Caesar took out two guards."

Futch and Borus paused a moment before Futch closed his eyes and smiled. "You think Caesar had a little help?"

"I did not!" Caesar shouted indignantly. "I took those guards out myself!"

"Mm-hm. Sure ya did." Percival jumped in.

"And then we got out of that hole of a place!" Borus exclaimed with a sigh of relief, continuing on with the tale.

"So then you flew to Crystal Valley?" She inquired.

Futch scratched the back of his head rather sheepishly. "We were intending to, but we were all really tired from being up for 36 hours straight so…"

"They fell asleep," Caesar finished.

"I'm sure everything would've been fine…" Borus started.

"Except for that Bright ran into some heavy fog about halfway there and got a bit disoriented." Caesar picked up the story. "When we woke up, we were near in the middle of the grasslands."

"By this time Bright was pretty tired from flying. He had four passengers, after all and had been flying for six hours straight," Futch attempted to defend his friend.

"Four passengers?" She broke in again.

"Watari vanished right after we escaped the savages," Borus sighed in exasperation. "Some teammate."

Shu directed his I-told-you-so look at Her. She sighed, rubbing Her temple. "Yeah. I get it. Ninjas are only good for solitary missions. I understand. So now you were in the grasslands."

Borus nodded. "And we had to travel on foot to Crystal Valley, because Bright was worn out. About midday, we came across a detachment of Harmonian soldiers."

She nodded.

"Jacques tried to tell us something about the detachment, but Caesar insisted we hide in the bushes until they passed." Borus shrugged. "We traveled to Crystal Valley without further incident."

"That's it!" She sounded almost disappointed.

"That's boring," Sharon, who had been listening in excitement the whole time, finally piped up.

"Yeah. Boring," Futch sighed. "Apparently, their security wasn't heightened after the library incident, because we were able to walk right in."

"And we were a ragged bunch," Borus broke in.

Futch grimaced. "Of course, we had to leave Bright outside again."

"Of course," She smirked.

"We soon found out the real reason security was down…The bishop was no longer residing in Crystal Valley. The rumor was that Sasarai had committed some sort of treason against Harmonia."

"He was a wanted man," Borus added.

"And he was forced to flee the country."

"Which explains the earlier detachment of Harmonian soldiers you saw earlier," Shu cut in.

"Mm-hm." Futch couldn't quite hide his bitterness. Caesar winced.

"Our almighty strategist mistook the Harmonians as reinforcements for the main army, when in reality, they were loyalists to Sasarai and were escorting him to the Fire-Bringer's base." Borus sneered at Caesar, who was starting to look extremely depressed.

"So that's what Jacques was trying to tell you," She mumbled.

"Yep," Futch sighed. "So we had to fly all the way back to Budehuc."

"At least we were now in familiar territory," Borus pointed out.

"Yeah. Most of the grassland people are familiar with Bright, so we reached Budehuc in good time. Then, while we were sneaking in, Borus overheard some of the guards talking about Lady Chris, and he went berserk. Obviously people came to check out the reason for all the commotion, and our cover would have been blown…"

"But then I saved the day." Caesar's tone was slightly arrogant. "I explained to Cecile that Borus didn't know that Sasarai joined forces with the Fire-bringers, as he hadn't been to the castle in a while."

Shu nodded. "Good, good."

"She bought the excuse and we were free to check on the bishop…Only, it didn't matter, because Sasarai wasn't there anymore."

"What?" She exclaimed.

"It seems after our good friend Watari abandoned us, he tracked Sasarai's movements to Budehuc."

She rolled Her eyes in exasperation and held out Her hand towards Shu. "Don't even start."

"He snuck into the bishop's room in the middle of the night and shot him with these." Futch held out a pair of three-inch-long darts.

"Poison darts?" She shot an alarmed glance at Watari, who quickly shook his head in a negative fashion. "Sleeping darts?" She tried again, more hopefully. Watari nodded. She let out a sigh of relief.

Borus continued the story, a little impatient for it to be finished. "We immediately teleported back to the ranch, hoping Watari brought Sasarai here. We saw the crowd of NPCs…"

"They're kind of hard to miss," Shu pointed out.

Borus scowled at the interruption before going on. "They had Sasarai surrounded, so we broke our way through, and that's about the time you got back."

"Praise the spirits," She shook Her head before standing up. "That's the last time I let you go alone on a mission." She glared at Caesar, who stared sullenly back.

"It wasn't _all_ my fault," he protested. "I had some good ideas."

"Hmph. Why doesn't one of you pick poor Sasarai up and follow me into the ranch." She turned towards Yuber. "How's Luc doing?"

Yuber shrugged a little disappointedly. "He's still alive."

"Well, that's good." Sarcasm dripped from Her voice. "Why don't you follow me in as well, and we can put them in adjacent rooms."

"Oh. That's cruel," Nash smirked.

She shrugged. "They'll never know. Luc probably won't ever want to come out of his room anyway."

"I won't tell if you won't," Percival directed a mischievous look at Nash, who blinked innocently.

"Our next target's Albert right?" Percival checked.

"Mm-hmm," She nodded.

"Don't put Caesar in charge of it." Borus suggested.

"He might just succeed in killing us all." Nash smirked.

"Shu and I already have a plan," She grinned a little diabolically.

"I'm not that bad!" Caesar protested, as the group reached the ranch's doors.

"No," Percival agreed. "But you're so easy to pick on."

As Caesar started his retort, the doors of the ranch slammed shut behind the group. After they disappeared into the ranch, Watari gazed up into the leaves above him, where an unseen archer hovered quietly in the swaying branches.

"That was a good story," he remarked softly, before settling down for a peaceful afternoon nap.

* * *

Please review!  



	14. Plan 12: The Final Showdown

_As promised, here is the last chapter. Thanks to all those who came along for the ride. Hopefully my sadism and sarcasm weren't too painful for any of you. I appreciated all of your kind reviews and/or suggestions. They really helped me develop as an amateur writer. _

_Oh! Speaking of sadism and torture, it's been brought to my attention that I may have been unfair to certain bishounen in my story. Here are the final stats. They have been adjusted not only for the number of times they have been insulted or injured but also on the severity of the insult or injury and the reaction of the subject:_

_Lady Chris: -1 __Barts: -1 __Franz: -2 Futch: -4 __Percival: -7 __Nash: -8__ Yuber: -9 __ Ace: -9 __Fred: -_10_Geddoe: -12 __Caesar: -68 __Borus: -276 Kyrissean+1,000,006  
_

_BTW, I just wanted to say that I was pretty nice to Caesar before I got Shu...except for the whole Nash incident, and then there was the time...ummm...well, he did have some shining moments..._

_As you can all see, I, the author, definitely have the upper hand in this matter and the rest of the bishounen have been treated fairly equally...Well, I suppose some have been treated more equally than others...Okay, okay. There may have been a couple who's dignity I degraded more than was necessary...moving on._

Disclaimer: I don't own Suikoden or any of the characters relating to the series.

* * *

_Chapter 12: The Final Showdown  
_

She sighed as She finished laying the last book on the cold, gray cement in the outskirts of Crystal Valley. She could hardly believe this day had finally come. After all Her hard work, She was finally going to capture the bishounen of all bishounen, Albert Silverberg.

As She reflected on it, She realized a trap was probably no longer needed for the great strategist. She had, after all, captured two of his employers and smeared his so-called good name to the third. Not only that, but She, along with Her bishounen, had caused immense damage to the great library in Crystal Valley, destroying some of the rarest books on the continent...or so he thought.

In reality, after researching the books stocked at the library, She had, with Shu's help, made a list of the most rare to confiscate before the library was set on fire. In a shining moment She stole dozens of Crystal Valley's prize books including the one-of-a-kind, Strategic Locations of Sindar Ruins. Not only that, but after finding and painstakingly searching several sites of Sindar ruins, She found an old book called The Inevitable Downfall of the Sindar, evidently written by a Sindar man himself. How could Albert possibly resist it?

She took Her place on the side of the street, where Her bishounen were patiently waiting, and surveyed the trap. In the middle of the square was a pile of books, the aforementioned prized book sitting on top. Leading to the large pile was a rather long trail of books placed about every five feet. The trail wound around the buildings to Albert's place of residence. She had the other book on the Sindar ruins at the head of the trail. She wanted to be sure Albert noticed the trail, after all.

"Do you really think he's going to fall for this?" Caesar looked mockingly at Shu. "I know my brother. He's smarter than this."

"Intelligence has nothing to do with this trap," Shu replied, not taking his eyes off the corner where Albert would ultimately come into view. "This is based on the importance Albert places on the written word. He'll come."

"I certainly hope so." She fidgeted anxiously.

"If he doesn't show, we can always drive him out into the open and jump him." Nash glanced at Caesar out of the corner of his eyes.

"That's not funny!" Caesar's face beamed red.

"I see your training isn't working very well," She commented to Shu.

"It's a hopeless case," Shu shrugged. "I have hopes he will improve after his brother joins our forces."

Nash snorted. "Or his inferiority will become more pronounced."

"Sadie help us if that happens," Percival shuddered.

"Hey! I…"

"This is a losing argument, Caesar." Borus remarked in a deadpan tone.

"Hmph." Caesar angrily crossed his arms and returned his glare to "Albert's corner."

"Hey! What's that?" Fred shouted, as he pointed to a pole sticking out from behind the building on the corner.

"What is he doing?" Sharon stuck up her nose in scorn.

They all watched in fascination as the end of the pole opened up in a gripper-like device and snatched the first book in the square.

"Huh." Percival grinned in admiration. "Would you look at that."

Her lips thinned as She shot a glare at Shu, who shrugged. "I wouldn't worry about it. He can only reach the first book with that device."

To disprove his statement, the pole once again appeared and reached out for the next book. There appeared to be extensions added to the device. "Shu!"

Caesar shot a superior look at the other strategist, glad that the other had failed to anticipate Albert's move. The look faded as Shu made a signal with his hand and Franz and Ruby suddenly shot out from behind another building, the mantor leader snatching the pole out of the air.

Shu smiled. "Satisfied?"

"Hmph." Caesar looked pointedly away from the other strategist. "The day's not over yet."

"What do you think he'll try next?" She wondered out loud, secretly glad Albert wasn't going down without a fight. It showed spirit. She liked it when the guys showed spirit. Just then, the answer to Her question appeared on the corner.

"Hey look!" Fred yelled again as he pointed to an NPC, who looked as if he was pushed out into the square. Said NPC warily approached the second book and slowly bent down to pick it up. His plan didn't go very well, however, because as soon as his hand brushed the book's surface, the book and he burst into flames.

"Futch," She directed a dry glance towards the dragon knight. "Got it." Futch rushed into the square, a fire extinguisher strapped to his back. Within seconds, the unfortunate NPC was covered in fluffy foam, and Futch rushed him to the nearest hospital.

Percival raised his eyebrows. "Wow. Sacrificing the NPCs already. You must have him pretty desperate."

Shu snorted derisively. "Not precisely a huge sacrifice for Albert."

Percival shrugged. "True."

Caesar blinked at Shu. "You had the books triggered to set themselves on fire if anyone but Albert touched them?"

Shu nodded. "Courtesy of Jeane."

Nash started in astonishment. "You'd better be careful dealing with that rune sage. She's dangerous."

"You're needlessly sacrificing lives for _him_?"

"We're aware of that," Shu commented calmly, ignoring Caesar's comment. "We didn't hide anything from her when we enlisted her aid."

"I'm just sayin'." Nash shrugged.

"Hey! Listen to me!" Caesar tugged on Her shirt.

"He wasn't sacrificed, precisely. I instructed Futch to get anyone unlucky enough to get hurt in the cross-fire instant medical attention."

"I saw that," Caesar sighed. "But…"

"Shhh. Look." Shu nodded towards the corner, where two NPCs appeared. One looked to have a fire extinguisher attached to him.

"What the…oh no…" She put Her hand to Her head.

Shu looked mildy irritated as the first NPC grabbed the book. Predictably, it and he burst into flames. However, the other NPC sprayed both man and book with foam until they were both out of sight.

"Clever," Percival smirked as Futch came running back towards the party.

"You seem to be missing something," Shu remarked, looking at Futch's empty back.

Futch hung his head. "They wouldn't let me bring it into the hospital. Said it was a safety hazard. When I got back outside, it was gone. Sorry 'bout that."

"Shu." He grimaced slightly at Her tone.

"Don't worry. There wasn't that much foam in the device."

"I hope not! At this rate he'll make it to the center pile in no time."

Suddenly, another NPC emerged from the corner with a transparent glass box in his hands. He strolled over to the fourth book, took the cover off the box and carefully used the bottom panel to shove the book into the cover. The book didn't burst into flames. Relieved, the NPC quickly scurried back to the corner. In a few seconds, the same NPC ran out to the next book.

"Enough of this nonsense," Shu looked mildly irritated as held up his hand and struck the NPC with a well placed lightning bolt. The NPC yipped in pain, dropping the glass box, which shattered upon contact with the cement street, and ran further into the city. The bishounen stared at Shu in shock. The strategist had obviously had enough of Albert's games, because he purposefully strode to the pile of books. "Albert!" His voice rang out in the square. "On top of this pile of rare books is a novel written by a Sindar man himself, explaining the deterioration of the once widely successful Sindar culture. It's the only one known to exist in the world. If you don't come here in less than 10 seconds, this along with the rest of the books in this pile will be reduced to cinders."

As if on cue, the red-haired strategist slowly revealed himself to the group, an NPC behind him holding the bulging sack of books. "You wouldn't do that."

"Try me."

Albert sighed. "Shall I go with you now, or do you have yet other plans for me?" He surveyed the group with his customary contempt.

"I don't know…" Nash cocked his head to one side. "I think we could drag this out for a few more months. What do you think Percival?"

Percival's eyebrows twitched. "Definitely."

"You're giving up already?" Caesar shouted in dismay, taking a few steps towards his brother. "If I'd have known it was going to be this easy..."

"You would've attempted to devise a scheme yourself," Albert finished with a smirk. "And then I would've escaped once again and your prime window of opportunity would've been lost." Albert sighed as Caesar sputter in indignation. "A pity You didn't let him try again. I was starting to enjoy this game of cat and mouse."

Caesar growled.

"Yeah. When you were the cat," Sharon retorted.

Albert shrugged his shoulders, still assuming an arrogant pose.

"I'm gonna..." Caesar attempted to dash over to his brother, but Borus firmly grabbed his collar and yanked him back into the group.

"I don't think so..." Borus glared at the strategist. "You're not going to mess this one up. I'm done going on these worhless escapades. I want to get back to Lady Chris."

Percival raised an eyebrow. "You assume She's going to release us after this is all over."

Borus' eyes widened as panic overtook him. "You..."

She ignored Borus, once again addressing the current object of interest. "I think you should go over to the pile and try to pick up the top book."

"Yes. Please oblige us," Shu commented wryly. "Ten seconds was over about two minutes ago, so these," he encompassed the references with one sweeping gesture of his hand, "could theoretically ignite at any second."

"Very well," Albert stiffened and coolly made his way towards the pile of books, picking up the strays along the way and depositing them into the sack. When the strategist finally reached the center pile, he took the sack from the NPC and dismissed him with a contemptuous flick of the hand. While the NPC scurried away, Albert set the sack tenderly down near the pile.

"For Sadie's sake. Come on Silverberg! We don't have all day!" Borus tapped his foot impatiently.

Albert cast a withering glance at the knight, before turning back to the books.

"Apparently, Borus doesn't realize he is in the presence of greatness," Caesar commented dryly, turning to the knight. "When you're dealing with Albert, it's important to remember that everything runs on his time schedule." Caesar shrugged nonchalantly. "Besides, it's not like we have anywhere else to go."

Albert sneered at his little brother's insults and with new resolve, firmly took the top book off the stack. Nothing happened. Albert looked almost confused. "Nothing happened," he muttered, staring at the book and turning it over in his hands. Abruptly, Watari flashed behind the unsuspecting strategist and snapped a color around his neck. Albert sighed in resignation. "Ah…This was more what I was expecting. Are we leaving now?"

"Not quite," Percival smirked as She half ran, half skipped to Her new prize and surveyed him gleefully.

"She wants to enjoy Her victory," Nash finished, a sly look in his eyes.

"I suppose since I've stripped you of everything else, I'll let you keep your coat and scarf." She grinned.

"Very generous of you," Albert commented sarcastically.

"Thank you." Her eyes glittered.

"I can't believe you let yourself get caught." Caesar directed a contemptuous look at his older brother. "And here I am, aspiring to be like..." Caesar suddenly stopped. "Ummm."

Albert's mouth twisted in a mocking half smile. " I feel so honored."

Caesar's face changed to the color of Bart's tomatoes. "Well, it looks like we're in the same boat now, huh?" he snarled curtly, before stomping away.

Albert sighed melodramatically. "Still as eloquent as ever."

"So are we done with all this capturing stuff now?" Nash asked, as the group began their trek out of Crystal Valley.

She nodded. Then, realizing what that meant, Her face fell in disappointment.

"So what you going to do now?" Percival looked at Her curiously. "Let us go?"

"Oh no!" She grinned. "That wouldn't be very much fun. I have lots of adventures planned for us!"

"What?" Borus shouted.

"Oh, joy."

"Why Nash. You don't sound very excited." Percival jabbed the spy.

"Oh. I'm very excited." Nash continued in a monotone.

"You can't keep us any longer!" Borus continued in an elevated tone of voice. "I have duties..." the knight trailed off as She directed Her most unimpressed expression at him.

"I think Lady Chris can survive without you a while longer," She smiled.

Borus whined. "But..."

"May I ask, now that you've _caught_ me, what exactly are you planning on _doing_ with me? I do not go on _adventures_." Albert raised a contemptuous eyebrow at Her.

She paused thoughtfully. "I haven't really decided on that yet. I guess you'll just have to wait and see." She turned to him suddenly. "You _will_ go on my adventures though. I guarantee it."

Albert sighed. "I suppose it would be boring to stay at your ranch all the time. I could go on a few _quests_ with you. I think it would be very particularly informative to investigate the Sindar ruins."

"The ruins?" She shrugged. "We could go to a few ruin sites if you want. After I found that book, I stopped exploring them. I don't really like mazes."

Borus stopped. "I'm not leading the way this time!"

"Of course not Borus," She smiled indulgently at the knight.

"I'm not entirely convinced your defenses at this _ranch_ are extraordinary enough to containing me." Albert continued snidely. "Especially if my brother was in charge of designing them."

Caesar growled. "Why you…I am perfectly capable of designing a security system capable of containing you!"

"We'll see," Albert smirked. "There's a slight possibility this _adventure _could be interesting for me. I haven't been challenged in quite some time."

Shu snorted. "How about the situation we put you in about ten minutes ago? That seemed to be a _more_ than effective challenge for your strategic prowess."

Albert sneered at the other strategist. "I was merely unprepared for the conditions of battle. I know my opponent now, and am better able to anticipate Her moves."

"Uh-huh," She mocked him and held out Her hand. "Well, good luck to you then. May the best man…" She smiled softly, "or in this case, Woman, win."

* * *

_All done! Please review._  



End file.
